10 Habits Highly Empathetic People Have In Common

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Empathy has always been the glue that holds healthy relationships together. Without it, relationships feel empty, and the people around us often end up feeling lonely and dissatisfied. We all have a certain degree of empathy, but in highly empathetic people, this trait is developed to a much greater extent. They don’t just recognize other people’s emotions—they actually experience them, take them to heart, and carry them with them long after the conversation has ended. And that’s exactly where the trap lies. If you don’t know how to manage and direct that level of emotional intensity, it can end up draining you instead of benefiting you.

Interestingly, the first signs of empathy appear in babies as young as 8 to 16 months old. At that age, they can already recognize another person’s distress and respond to it. By the age of one, many toddlers will spontaneously try to comfort a crying child, while well-developed perspective-taking doesn’t fully emerge until around the age of six or seven. Empathy develops gradually throughout childhood, and for some people, the brain circuits responsible for it simply operate more intensely than they do in others. That’s why some people feel more, faster, and more deeply than the average person.

The question we’re interested in today is no longer why this happens, but what these people actually do differently in their everyday lives. Below, I’ll walk you through seven specific habits that highly empathetic people have in common—you may even recognize yourself in many of them.

What Does It Mean To Be Empathetic?

What exactly does it mean to be empathetic? Broadly speaking, it means understanding what someone else is going through and using that understanding to respond to them from a genuine place within yourself. Don’t get it confused with compassion, though—they’re not the same thing. For example, if your friend calls you and tells you that her partner has left her, compassion means saying, “I’m so sorry you’re going through that,“ while remaining at a safe emotional distance. Empathy, on the other hand, means actually feeling what your friend is feeling. You might literally feel a tightness in your chest, experience her sadness, and think deeply about it as if it were happening to you.

Scientists divide empathy into two types, and the difference between them will probably help explain a lot. The first is cognitive empathy, which means understanding what someone else is thinking and feeling without necessarily experiencing those emotions yourself. It’s a more rational process—a kind of “I understand how you feel” without being emotionally pulled into it. The second type is affective empathy, where it’s no longer just about understanding. Here, you actually feel what the other person is feeling. Their sadness becomes your sadness, and their anxiety seems to transfer directly into you.

And this is also where the answer lies to why highly empathetic people burn out so easily. Cognitive empathy is generally less exhausting because you remain present while still maintaining some emotional boundaries between yourself and the other person. Affective empathy, however, can slowly drain you if you don’t know how to regulate it, because you’re essentially “plugged into” other people’s emotions. Highly empathetic people often have both types of empathy strongly developed, which means they don’t just understand others—they feel things much more deeply than the average person.

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10 Habits Of Highly Empathetic People

1. They Consciously Question Their Own Biases

We all have biases—it’s simply a fact. Labels like “homeless person,” “foreigner,” or “those who are different” help us quickly categorize the world, but at the same time, they rob us of the chance to see the person behind the label. The difference with highly empathetic people is that they don’t let those thoughts pass unnoticed.

When they catch themselves judging someone, they pause. Instead of focusing on what separates them from that person, they look for what connects them. It sounds simple, but in practice, it takes effort. It’s much easier to stick with a first impression. The next time you catch yourself judging someone in your mind, try doing exactly this. Find one thing that connects the two of you.

2. They Put Themselves In Other People’s Shoes

This isn’t just about listening or using your imagination. It’s about genuinely trying to experience someone else’s reality. After years of working as a police officer in a British colony, writer George Orwell returned home and deliberately disguised himself as a homeless man to understand the lives of people living on the margins of society. In the book he wrote about that experience, he described how it completely changed his perspective on poverty.

You don’t have to go that far. The principle remains the same. If you’re religious, attend a service of another faith. If you’re an atheist, spend time getting to know a religious community. Spend time in an environment that is completely different from your everyday life. The most genuine understanding comes from experiencing it yourself, even if only for a moment.

3. They Know How To Listen—And They Dare To Be Vulnerable

Empathetic people are, above all, great listeners. They don’t listen just so they can respond—they genuinely try to understand what the other person is feeling, not just what they’re saying. That’s why they know how to take conversations to a deeper level, and it’s also why they tend to be exceptionally good friends.

There’s another side to this habit that people often overlook. They also dare to be vulnerable themselves. They share their own experiences, feelings, and deeper thoughts. They don’t just listen—they open up too. And that’s what allows both people to put their masks aside and have a truly meaningful conversation.

4. They Believe Empathy Can Change The Entire World

Most people think of empathy as something personal—it helps one person or strengthens one relationship. Highly empathetic people, however, know that it can work on a much larger scale. The anti-slavery movements of the 18th and 19th centuries were built on this very idea. Activists helped people truly understand the suffering on plantations, and that understanding became the driving force behind change.

Today, this idea is perhaps best reflected in children. The Canadian program Roots of Empathy, which has reached hundreds of thousands of children, teaches emotional intelligence from an early age. The results show less violence on school playgrounds and improved academic performance. If you want empathy to survive into the next generation, it has to be nurtured from childhood.

5. They Know Themselves Well

Highly empathetic people take the time to understand their own emotions—why they reacted the way they did, where their motivation comes from, and how their communication affects others. This isn’t about philosophical self-analysis. It’s a simple fact: if you don’t understand yourself, it’s difficult to understand other people.

That’s why they know that self-awareness is one of their greatest strengths. Every time they learn something new about themselves, they carry that knowledge into building better and more authentic relationships with the people around them.

6. They Don’t Compare Someone Else’s Pain To Their Own

When someone tells them they’re struggling, an empathetic person doesn’t immediately respond with, “I understand—I went through something similar once.” They don’t compare your loss, sadness, or pain to their own because they know that suffering isn’t a competition.

Instead, they allow your experience to remain yours. They don’t minimize it or try to overshadow it with their own story. It sounds simple, but it’s actually quite rare because most of us unintentionally shift the conversation back to ourselves.

7. They Need Time Alone

Because they’re genuinely good at sensing and responding to other people’s emotions, spending time around people can quickly become emotionally exhausting. That’s why they enjoy taking time for themselves to recharge before they run out of energy. Even a short break from social situations can prevent emotional overload. Many empathetic people even prefer driving separately to social gatherings simply so they can leave whenever they feel it’s time.

At the same time, highly empathetic people are often easy targets for so-called emotional vampires—people who quickly recognize their empathy and know how to use it to their own advantage. Because empathetic people find it difficult to say no and genuinely feel another person’s distress, they can easily be taken advantage of. That’s why it’s so important for them to set healthy boundaries and make time for themselves before someone else drains them completely.

8. They Apologize First, Even When They Aren’t The Only One At Fault

During conflicts, highly empathetic people don’t focus on who is more to blame. They’re often the first to say, “I’m sorry,” even when they haven’t really done anything wrong, simply because they want to ease the tension and allow the conversation to continue more calmly.

This isn’t a sign of weakness, even though many people see it that way. To them, the relationship matters more than being right. They understand that stubbornly insisting on being right often causes more harm than good.

9. They Make Others Feel Safe Without Trying To Change Them

Empathetic people know how to spend time with someone without feeling the need to fully understand, change, or “fix” them. Even when they disagree with someone, they still give that person the space to be themselves and express what they think without feeling judged.

This is something people quickly notice around them. They don’t come into relationships with an agenda to turn you into a better version of yourself. They simply want you to feel safe in their presence.

10. They Think About You Even When You’re Not Around

Psychology even has a name for this: empathic concern. Imagine your best friend tells you that her grandmother has passed away. Highly empathetic people often continue thinking about it long after that conversation has ended. They wonder how their friend is feeling, how they might be able to help, and they naturally place themselves in her emotional experience.

That’s why they often carry other people’s difficult emotions with them even after they’re home, alone, and far away from that person. It’s not because they’re obsessed or constantly worrying about themselves. It’s simply because they genuinely care about other people, even when those people aren’t physically present.