10 Tips for Successfully Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship

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Everyone has their own opinion about long-distance relationships. Some people will tell you that they simply can’t last, while others will claim the exact opposite. It depends on many things—people’s beliefs, their experiences, or perhaps a bad story they went through themselves or heard from someone else. But realistically? Your relationship has nothing to do with what other people think.

Let me tell you something encouraging. I came across a research finding that as many as 55% of Americans say that distance actually brought them closer in their relationship rather than pushing them apart. So all those stereotypes about long-distance relationships that you hear from your mom, your friends, or “someone on the internet” are not the whole truth.

Whether your relationship will be successful depends on many factors, and most of all on what the two of you do. In this article, I’ll share some truly useful tips on how to maintain a long-distance relationship so it can succeed. Take them, use the ones that fit your situation, and keep a positive belief in your relationship—because you deserve it.

Why Long-Distance Relationships Actually Fail

Before I tell you how to maintain a long-distance relationship, you need to know why they fail in the first place—because most of the reasons have nothing to do with the distance itself, but with how the couple manages that distance.

First, the good news: research shows that around 35% of long-distance relationships fail, which means that 65% do not end in a breakup. So it’s not as hopeless as almost everyone who thinks they know better than you will tell you. But the smaller percentage that does fail tends to share several recurring reasons. Let’s take a look at them together.

There Is No Clear End to the Distance

When you don’t know when you’ll finally live together, every argument becomes bigger because the same thought is always in the background—why are we even doing this if there seems to be no end in sight? A study published in the Journal of Communication found exactly this: relationships without a clear timeline for reunion are significantly more likely to fail.

Unequal Communication

It’s not about how much you talk, but how you communicate. If one person puts in more effort than the other, it will eventually show. One partner feels lonely, the other feels guilty, and both become more irritated than they would like.

Trust And Jealousy

Without physical presence, you don’t see the full picture of your partner’s day, so your mind tends to fill in the blanks with scenarios you create yourself. That isn’t a sign that you’re “crazy jealous“—it’s simply a result of lacking context.

Emotional Distance

Researcher Gwendolyn Seidman points out that long-distance couples often find it harder to build genuine emotional intimacy, which leads to feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction. Without sharing everyday moments, partners can gradually drift apart without even realizing it’s happening.

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Unaligned Expectations

If one person believes that calling every day means “I’m serious about this relationship,” while the other thinks that calling every other day is completely fine, disappointment will eventually appear. And no, it’s not because you’re apart—it’s simply because you never truly talked about your expectations.

External Stressors

Work, studies, money, family—all of these put additional pressure on a relationship when there is no physical presence to ease the tension with a hug or a shared evening.

10 Useful Tips For Long-Distance Relationships

1. See Distance As An Opportunity, Not A Punishment

The way you look at distance determines how you will experience it. If you see it as an obstacle, that’s exactly how it will feel. But if you see it as a challenge that makes your relationship stronger, you’ll also find something good in it. Real gold isn’t afraid of fire, and what you’re going through right now is exactly that fire—many couples never even need it because they live too close to each other.

2. Set Clear Expectations Right Away

Both of you need to know where you stand. Is your relationship serious? Is it okay if one of you goes out with friends of the opposite sex? What does faithfulness actually mean in your relationship? Don’t assume what your partner thinks—ask them. An honest conversation at the beginning will save you a lot of tears later.

3. Stay In Regular Contact, But Don’t Let It Become Boring

Good morning and good night messages should be a given. Along with that, share the little things from your day—a photo of your coffee, a voice message, a video of the sunset. These small things tell your partner that you’re thinking about them even when you’re not talking. And in the end, it’s those little things that matter the most.

4. Align Your Goals, Not Just Your Feelings

This is the trap that so many couples fall into—you truly love each other, yet you still fall apart because your long-term plans don’t match. One person thinks the distance is temporary, while the other has quietly accepted it as a permanent situation. So ask yourselves: Is the distance temporary, and if so, what’s the realistic timeline—six months, two years, until the contract ends? Is the distance a permanent choice that you both genuinely agree with? Are you both willing to move in together someday, and who will make that move first? And don’t forget, plans change because people change, so talk about these things regularly, not just once at the beginning of your relationship.

5. Recognize Situations That Could Damage Trust

If you know it would bother your partner if you went to dinner with someone you used to be interested in, you have two options—either don’t do it, or tell them beforehand so that both of you have a clear picture. The same applies the other way around. It’s not about your partner not trusting you; it’s about saving them from unnecessary worry. And be honest with yourself too. If someone at work (or elsewhere) genuinely interests you in a way that could threaten your relationship, be aware of it before anything happens.

6. Do Things Together, Even If You’re Not Physically Together

Play the same online game, watch a movie together during a call, create a shared shopping list and send each other gifts, talk about your future together, prepare the same meal, or have lunch together over a video call. There are countless options. It doesn’t matter what you do—the important thing is that you do it together. And that’s exactly what a long-distance relationship needs the most—a sense of sharing everyday life, not just talking about it.

7. Visit Each Other As Often As Possible

Visits are truly the highlight of every long-distance relationship. After all the waiting, missing each other, and holding on, you’re finally together again—you can kiss, hold hands, and do all those “ordinary” things that are completely normal for other couples but feel like a celebration for the two of you. That’s why these visits aren’t just visits—they’re the fuel that carries you through all the weeks in between.

8. Get To Know Each Other’s Schedules

A long-distance relationship also requires good communication about your schedules. Nobody wants to be interrupted during a university lecture or an important meeting, right? So regularly share your important daily commitments with your partner—exams, meetings, interviews, work, basically anything you don’t want to be interrupted during. This helps both of you stay more organized and find the right time to connect throughout the day.

9. Don’t Create Drama Where There Isn’t Any

I know it’s hard not to wonder why your partner, who is usually always on time, didn’t call when they promised. Your mind loves to create the worst-case scenarios—an imaginary attractive neighbor, some romantic adventure on the dance floor. But stop right there. You can’t verify any of those scenarios by guessing, and if you keep obsessing over them or overwhelm your partner with calls and questions because of them, you’ll mostly end up hurting yourself. Remember tip number two about setting clear expectations? Well, this is exactly the moment to use it—you talk instead of guessing.

10. Get To Know Each Other’s Family And Friends

Do this as soon as possible, not years later. Once you realize how important someone is to you, it also makes sense to see whether the people around them support your relationship, and vice versa. Ask how their mom is doing, whether their brother passed his exam, and send a holiday card to their parents. And when you visit each other’s hometowns, always make time to spend time with friends as well, not just with each other. It’s not an obligation—it’s something that genuinely brings you closer and makes your relationship feel more real, even when you’re apart.

Try The 777 Rule For Long-Distance Relationships

It’s true that the 777 rule wasn’t originally created for long-distance couples. Therapists usually use it for couples who live together but whose relationship has slowly turned into more of a roommate situation—they see each other every day, yet still become strangers to one another. However, you can still adapt this rule to your advantage. The idea is simple. The original rule is: every 7 days a date, every 7 weeks a night away together, and every 7 months a real vacation.

Since you’re in a long-distance relationship, you can adjust this rule to fit your situation. Let’s take a look at how.

Every 7 Days: A Real Virtual Date

Okay, I don’t mean one person staring at their phone while the other is busy studying or doing something else. I mean a real date. For example, each of you can prepare dinner on your own side, light some candles, dress up nicely, get ready, basically do everything as if you were going on a real date, and then have that date virtually. The next time, you can do something different—maybe take a walk in the park on your own side while talking on a call, or cook the same meal and compare how it turned out for each of you. The point is to truly dedicate yourselves to it, without distractions, without multitasking, just focusing on each other.

Every 7 Weeks: Something More Than A Regular Conversation

Unfortunately, you can’t enjoy a physical night away together, but you can replace it with something that also requires effort and isn’t part of your usual routine. For example, dedicate an entire evening to talking about where you’re headed as a couple—without interruptions, without “oh, I need to do this first.” Or send each other a surprise in the mail, a letter, a small gift, anything that shows you were thinking about them even when you weren’t talking. You can also plan your next visit together down to the smallest detail, as if you’re already building something real.

Every 7 Months: A Real Visit Or A Trip Together

And here, the rule means even more for you than it does for couples who live together. For them, it’s a nice addition to everyday life. For you, it’s the goal you’ve been working toward all this time. That’s why you should mark it on your calendar in advance so you always have something to look forward to—trust me, even that anticipation alone helps keep a relationship alive.

You don’t have to follow this rule exactly. If a 555 rule or a 999 rule works better for you, depending on how often you can see each other and how far apart you live, then do that instead. The number isn’t important. What matters is having a clear rhythm—something weekly, something monthly, something you can rely on. And that predictability is exactly what many long-distance relationships are missing the most.