Powerful Tips to Let Go of Perfectionism and Live Happier
Perfectionism can be a quiet yet powerful enemy. On the surface, it seems to push us toward success, but in reality, it often traps us in a cycle of endless correcting, checking, and feeling like we are never enough. This is where the journey begins — there are simple ways to let go of perfectionism that help us live more easily, freely, and, most importantly, more authentically.
The truth is, perfectionism isn’t just about having high standards. It’s an inner voice that never quiets down until everything is flawless. And it’s precisely this voice that robs us of joy in small moments and forces us into procrastination because nothing ever feels good enough. Leonard Cohen once wrote: “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” It’s through these cracks that life enters. Stay with me to discover useful tips to let go of perfectionism.
What Is Perfectionism And Why Do We Struggle With It?
The definition of perfectionism is not merely a desire for excellence. It’s a feeling that we are never good enough, that every mistake equals failure, and that we must constantly prove our worth. And here’s the problem: this constant self-criticism can completely drain us, increase stress, and even block our progress.
You might wonder: “Why is it so hard to get rid of perfectionism?” The answer lies in a combination of upbringing, societal expectations, and personal experiences. If we grew up in an environment where mistakes were punished or praise was only given for success, this inner voice likely formed, constantly testing us. This voice is subtle, often unnoticed at first, but slowly shapes the way we think, make decisions, and even relate to others.
When we strive to be flawless all the time, we can lose touch with what truly brings us joy, become afraid of taking risks, and delay action until it’s “perfect.” In the end, we find ourselves trapped in a vicious cycle — never satisfied, always under pressure.
When we recognize that our inner voice doesn’t just push us toward better results but often hinders us, we can begin seeking strategies to overcome perfectionism that gradually free us from this pressure.
How To Recognize Perfectionism In Your Life
If you’re wondering whether perfectionism affects your daily life, be honest with yourself and check for these signs. You can notice them quickly if you pay attention to how you think, feel, and act:
- You Are Never Satisfied With Your Work – Even if others say, “Great job,” you always see mistakes and feel you could do better.
- Procrastination On Important Decisions Or Tasks – Waiting for the “perfect moment” or overthinking often leaves things unfinished.
- Fear Of Mistakes – The smallest error stresses you out, bringing guilt or shame, as if the world is falling apart.
- Setting Unrealistically High Standards – For yourself and others. Sometimes you expect everything to be perfect all the time.
- Difficulty Delegating – You don’t trust others because you feel no one will do it “the way you would.”
- Constant Self-Criticism – Your inner voice is always judging you, even at the smallest successes.
- Comparing Yourself To Others – You constantly look at what others are doing and compare yourself, feeling you’re never good enough.
- Stress And Burnout – Being constantly “on” and trying to control everything wears your body and mind out faster than others.
- Difficulty Accepting Praise – You feel you don’t deserve it or that the praise wasn’t “genuine enough.”
- Perfectionism Affects Relationships – Either you set unrealistically high expectations for others or withdraw, avoiding vulnerability.
Best Ways to Let Go of Perfectionism and Enjoy Life
Change Your Perfectionistic Thinking
You know that constant self-criticism? “I’m not good enough, this isn’t perfect, I always mess up.” Sounds familiar, right? That’s classic perfectionism—the inner voice that won’t let you breathe. One of the best things you can do for yourself is not to fully believe that voice, but start replacing it with more realistic and kind thoughts.
Try writing down or repeating positive affirmations out loud every day, even if they feel a little strange at first. Your mind and body will gradually learn that these thoughts are true. For example: “Nobody is perfect,” or “I am giving my best, and that is enough,” or simply, “Mistakes are part of life, not a disaster.” As you repeat these thoughts, you’ll begin to push out that old perfectionistic voice.
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Change Your Perfectionistic Behaviors
Perfectionism isn’t just in your mind—it’s also in your actions. If you’re always waiting for everything to be “perfect,” you often end up doing nothing or procrastinating because you’re afraid of making a mistake. One of the best strategies to overcome this is the exposure technique—gradually expose yourself to situations that scare you and learn that the world won’t collapse if something isn’t perfect.
Start with small steps: arrive a few minutes late to a meeting, let your desk be a little messy, or tell a colleague you’re tired. Even small awkward silences or a stain on your clothes are opportunities to practice “being imperfect” while freeing yourself from the fear of mistakes. Perfectionism loses its power when you start challenging it in real life.
Set Time Limits for Projects
If you’re a perfectionist, you probably know how quickly procrastination becomes part of your daily routine. You wait for everything to be “ideal” before starting, and then you lose precious time. One of the simplest and most effective ways to fight perfectionism is to set strict time limits for each task.
For example, if you’re working on a paper or project, give yourself exactly one hour to gather references. When the hour is up, move on to the next part of the project or another task. This helps you start doing instead of waiting for perfection. With regular practice, you’ll notice that the result can be good even without perfection. You’ll start appreciating your effort, not just the final outcome. And most importantly—you’ll begin enjoying the process instead of being weighed down by the obsession with perfection.
Learn to Handle Criticism
One of the biggest traps of perfectionism is how strongly criticism affects us. Perfectionists often take it as a personal attack, proof that they aren’t good enough, and instinctively defend themselves. But if you learn to see criticism as information rather than an attack, a huge change happens. Think: not every criticism is the end of the world—it’s an opportunity to learn, improve, or simply look at yourself more objectively.
The first step is to consciously separate facts from interpretation. If someone says, “You could have done this better,” it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It simply means there’s a different approach or perspective. Try to accept criticism without self-judgment—say to yourself: “Okay, I heard that, thanks. What can I learn from this?” Gradually, you develop resistance to perfectionism while building confidence.
If you’re really new to this, try small exercises: after each criticism, write down one useful thing you can take from it. Doing this regularly will turn criticism into an ally rather than an enemy.
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Set Achievable Goals
If you’re a perfectionist, you know how quickly goals can become too ambitious—leading to stress, disappointment, and the feeling that something is always missing. The key is learning to set goals that are realistic and attainable. That doesn’t mean they can’t be challenging, but they should be doable without unnecessary stress.
Try the “small steps” method: break a big goal into smaller, concrete tasks. When you complete a small step, celebrate it—really, acknowledge yourself! This gradually shows that it’s not the end of the world if the result isn’t perfect, and that progress matters more than perfection.
Another useful exercise: each week, set one goal where you allow mistakes. When you reach it (or don’t), notice how you feel. Over time, you’ll see that “good enough” really is enough—and life isn’t terrible if something isn’t ideal.
Learn to Say NO and Stop People-Pleasing
A big part of perfectionism is often tied to the desire to please others. If you grew up in an environment where praise was only given for achievements or meeting expectations, you may have developed the belief: “If I’m not perfect, they won’t love me.” And so, you say YES to everyone, are always available, and hide your weaknesses.
The solution is simple, but not always easy: learning to say NO. When you learn to set boundaries, you realize that your worth is not based on how much you please others but on who you are as a person. Start with small steps: say NO to things that truly drain you or are not your priorities.
25 Affirmations for Perfectionism
When you find yourself caught in a spiral of perfectionist thoughts, affirmations can help stop that flow and instead plant kinder, more supportive thoughts in your mind.
Here are 25 affirmations you can try:
- I allow myself to be imperfect and still be enough.
- Mistakes are my teacher, not my enemy.
- Every day I learn and grow, even if things aren’t perfect.
- I release the need for perfection.
- My effort is more important than a perfect outcome.
- I deserve peace, even if things aren’t ideal.
- I allow myself to finish tasks when they are good enough.
- Every mistake brings me closer to growth.
- I forgive myself when I don’t achieve perfection.
- I am strong enough to accept my flaws.
- I measure my abilities by progress, not perfection.
- I allow myself to be human and vulnerable.
- Every decision I make is good as long as I try.
- I open myself to experiences regardless of the outcome.
- My effort matters more than the final result.
- I know that perfection is not the goal, but a learning process.
- I release the critical voice in my head.
- I allow myself to be proud of my achievements.
- I do not compare myself to others, only to my own growth.
- Progress is more important than perfection.
- I allow myself to try, even if I fail the first time.
- Every experience makes me stronger.
- Relaxation is part of my progress.
- I am good enough as I am right now.
- I choose peace and contentment over constant self-criticism.
4 Books That Can Help You Overcome Perfectionism
If you’ve already tried all the tips mentioned above and still feel like something is missing, I have a few recommendations for you. These are four books that can help you overcome perfectionism and live a more relaxed and fulfilling life.
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1. The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
In this book, Brené Brown explores how we can embrace our imperfections and live an authentic life. She offers ten guideposts for wholehearted living, including courage, compassion, and connection. If you often feel that you must be perfect to be accepted, this book will help you shift your perspective on yourself and your mistakes. Get the book here.
2. How to Be an Imperfectionist – Stephen Guise
Stephen Guise introduces the concept of “imperfectionism,” which encourages accepting mistakes as part of the learning process. He offers practical advice on how to break free from the pressures of perfectionism and start taking action without fear of failure. If you often find yourself stuck in the perfectionism cycle, this book will help you take the first step toward change. Check the book here.
3. When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough – Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson
This book provides an in-depth look at the nature of perfectionism and its effects on mental health. The authors present strategies for managing perfectionism, including cognitive-behavioral therapy and acceptance techniques. If you struggle with anxiety, depression, or body image issues related to perfectionism, this book offers valuable guidance. Find it here.
4. The Pursuit of Perfect – Tal Ben-Shahar
Tal Ben-Shahar explores how perfectionism can hinder our happiness and fulfillment. He shares research from positive psychology and practical exercises to help overcome perfectionism and live a fuller life. If you often feel that you must be perfect to be happy, this book will help you change your perspective on happiness and success. If you’re interested, you can view the book here.
