Stop Doing This Mistakes on a First Date – It’s Killing Your Chances
A first date is like an audition for the lead role in the movie of your relationship. You only get one shot to impress – and believe it or not, one wrong move could mean you never get a second scene. Research shows that people form their first impression in less than seven seconds. Are you willing to risk making a bad one over something you’re not even aware of?
Whether it’s choosing the wrong conversation topic, displaying awkward body language, or giving off the wrong energy—some first-date mistakes can be deal breakers. And because they’re rarely talked about, people keep making them over and over again. Psychologists say that we often miss out on opportunities not because we’re the wrong person, but because we send the wrong signal.
If you want to make sure your first impression isn’t your last, you need to know the common mistakes to avoid on a first date. The mistakes you’ll discover in this article are the very ones that prevent many from getting a second date—so now’s the time to avoid them.
14 Common Mistakes to Avoid on a First Date
1. Talking Too Much About Yourself
A first date is not a solo performance where the audience (your date) sits back and listens to your life story, achievements, and everything that could easily be added to your LinkedIn profile. Sure, the conversation should flow, but if you monopolize all the minutes with monologues about your travels, job, and favorite foods, you’ll quickly become boring.
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People remember how they felt around you – and if your date barely gets a chance to speak, they’ll walk away thinking you’re too self-absorbed. One of the biggest common mistakes to avoid on a first date is talking too much and not listening enough. A great date is always a dialogue, not a one-sided interview.
2. Getting Too Personal Too Soon
No matter how well you connect with someone, the first date is not the time to discuss your exes, childhood traumas, or life’s biggest failures. If you start talking about how your ex hurt you or how you once experienced a major career disaster, your date will likely start looking for an exit strategy.
A first date is about relaxed conversation and creating a pleasant atmosphere—not a therapy session. If you want to leave a good impression, keep things light and positive.
3. Checking Your Phone Too Often
If you’re constantly glancing at your phone, checking messages, or even answering calls, you’re sending a clear signal: “You’re not my priority.” Few things are more off-putting than feeling like someone would rather be in their digital world than present in the moment with you.
One of the biggest common mistakes to avoid on a first date is failing to give your date your full attention. Even if it seems harmless, constantly scrolling through your phone makes the other person feel unimportant or ignored. When you’re on a date, put your phone on silent and put it away—you’ll survive without Instagram, notifications, and messages for a couple of hours.
4. Being Too Picky About Food (or Judging Your Date’s Choice)
If one of the first things you tell your date is that you only eat organic, gluten-free, low-carb, vegan-certified food, and then spend the evening rolling your eyes at their meal choices—congratulations, you’ve just killed the mood.
A first date is not the place for food judgments. Of course, if you have specific dietary restrictions, mention them—but without overdoing it. People appreciate relaxed company, not someone who makes them feel judged for their meal choices. If food comes up in conversation, focus on what you both enjoy rather than debating what’s “right” to eat.
5. Being Late – A First Impression You Can’t Fix
Being five or ten minutes late (if you notify your date in advance) isn’t a big deal. But when waiting turns into 20 minutes, half an hour, or more—without an apology or explanation—you send the message that you’re careless and uninterested.
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Nobody wants to sit alone at a table on a first date, awkwardly checking the time. Plus, lateness signals a lack of respect. Give yourself some extra time to account for traffic, red lights, or parking struggles. It’s not just about punctuality—it’s about showing consideration for the other person.
6. Flirting with Other People
If you’re looking around at passersby or even flirting with the waiter during your date, you’re digging your own grave. Who would want to continue seeing someone who is already scouting for a better option?
Checking out other people won’t make you seem attractive or desirable—it will make you look disrespectful and lacking basic courtesy. If you’re not interested in the person in front of you, why are you even there? Show genuine interest, or this first date will be your last.
7. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
One of the biggest mistakes on a first date is wanting too much, too soon. If you’re already nudging your date’s knee under the table or grabbing their hand too often during dinner, you risk pushing them away instead of charming them. The same goes for ending the night with an overly passionate kiss—or worse, expecting things to move to the bedroom. Everyone has their own pace, and too much pressure can turn off even the most interested person. A first date should be relaxed, respectful, and enjoyable—everything else will come naturally in time.
8. Expressing Love Too Soon
No matter how well the date goes, don’t go overboard with declarations of love right after. Sending messages like, “I’ve never met anyone like you” or “I already know you’re the one” can feel intense and even scary. One of the common mistakes to avoid on a first date is creating pressure with excessive emotional intensity. Let the impressions of the date settle, and allow interest to develop naturally—sometimes, a little mystery is far more attractive than an immediate emotional flood.
9. Drinking Too Much
Having a glass of wine or a beer on a first date is perfectly fine—relaxing a little never hurts. But overdoing it with alcohol is one of the biggest common mistakes to avoid on a first date. Instead of appearing confident, you might end up being too loud, clumsy, or even rude.
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Even worse—if your date has to escort you home or, heaven forbid, deal with your drunken antics, your story will end before it even begins. Stay in control and show that you can enjoy yourself without regretting your words (or actions) the next morning.
10. “Forgetting” Your Wallet – Don’t Play Foolish
If you suddenly realize you “forgot” your wallet on a date, know that no one will fall for this trick. It’s not about who pays—most people don’t mind contributing their share. The issue arises when you come across as irresponsible or even calculating.
First impressions matter, and one of the common mistakes to avoid on a first date is leaving the impression that you can’t take care of yourself, let alone someone else. If you planned the date, have the decency not to make excuses. And if you’re truly short on money? An honest conversation is always a better choice than a bad excuse.
11. Searching for Flaws
If you spend the whole date hunting for their “imperfections,” you’ll definitely find some—but you’ll also miss the chance to truly get to know the person. One of the biggest common mistakes to avoid on a first date is focusing on minor dislikes instead of noticing what’s genuine and interesting about the person.
Nobody is perfect, and if you approach the date with the mindset of looking for red flags, you’ll see them even where they don’t exist. Give yourself a chance to experience someone without unnecessary filters.
12. Talking About Your “Ideal Partner”
When you start explaining what your perfect partner should be like, you unintentionally create a sense of competition—and that’s one of the classic common mistakes to avoid on a first date. No one wants to sit across from someone who is already evaluating whether they meet unrealistic standards. Instead of listing “must-have” traits and “deal-breakers,” let the energy flow naturally. A first date isn’t an audition—it’s a meeting between two people exploring if they click, without unnecessary pressure.
13. Exaggerating or Lying
It might be tempting to present yourself in the best light—embellishing achievements, adding a few successes that didn’t actually happen, or portraying yourself as a more exciting version of yourself. But exaggerating or lying is one of the riskiest common mistakes to avoid on a first date, because the truth always comes out.
When someone gets to know you better and realizes your stories don’t add up, you lose something crucial—trust. It’s always better to be authentic, as genuineness is far more attractive than perfection on paper.
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14. Complaining – No One Wants Negative Energy
If your first date turns into a therapy session where you vent about your job, family, or past relationships, the energy will quickly turn into a heavy cloud. This is one of the common mistakes to avoid on a first date that can kill attraction in minutes.
Nobody expects you to be overly cheerful all the time, but a first date is an opportunity to connect, not a chance to unload frustrations. Keep things light and enjoyable—there will be plenty of time for deeper topics if things move in the right direction.
