The Truth About How Building Self-confidence Really Works

When it comes to self-confidence, we often find ourselves buried under a deluge of advice on how to boost self-esteem, but many of these tips seem to get stuck in a vicious cycle of unrealistic expectations and instant fixes. In a world where superficial expectations of oneself are increasingly prevalent, the question arises: Does true confidence really build through simple tricks and instructions, or is the path to it more complex?

More and more research suggests that confidence is a multifaceted concept that cannot be easily achieved through superficial approaches. Life is unpredictable, unexpected situations and changes can greatly affect our confidence. Especially if we are reliant on external factors, even a small slip or failure can be devastating.

Dr. Nathaniel Branden devoted his life to studying self-esteem and wrote 20 books on the subject. He believed that our confidence is not built in childhood, but rather throughout life. Honestly, everyone wants confidence, but many don’t know where to start building it.

What is a confident person like?

• A man does what he believes, even if the people around him think otherwise.
• The person is ready to take risks, try new challenges, set goals that he wants to fulfill regardless of setbacks.
• Man accepts his mistakes and turns them into lessons so that he can learn something from them.
• The person accepts compliments and does not reject them.
• A self-confident person celebrates others and never envies or compares themselves to them.
• Has the ability to set boundaries and take risks.
• The characteristic of a self-confident person is good communication and the ability to adapt.
• She knows how to rely on her own decisions, so she is independent and self-sufficient. He does not need the approval of others.

Confidence and self-esteem are very similar concepts. Although they are very closely related, they have some differences. Self-confidence is what we give to the world and the environment around us, what others see. Self-esteem is an insight into oneself, much less noticeable on the outside.

The benefits of invincible self-confidence

• Resistance to failure. Self-confidence will accept responsibility for understanding the failures and mistakes that are a part of life.
• Greater productivity. A self-confident person is more motivated and goal-oriented. He believes in himself and his abilities.
• Healthy relationships. A self-confident person attracts people around him, which enables him to maintain and establish better relationships with others. Self-confidence also helps in judging which relationship is healthy and which is toxic for that person.
• Better emotional and mental well-being: A higher level of self-esteem and inner satisfaction. Which makes it easier to deal with stress, doubts and failures.
• Easier acceptance of new challenges and changes. This is how a person believes in himself and is eager for new knowledge and experience.
• Greater chance of success

Let’s debunk some myths about self-confidence

Confident individuals are always self-assured.

This myth suggests that confident individuals always have complete self-assurance and never doubt themselves. The truth is that even the most confident people experience moments of doubt and uncertainty. The key is how they deal with these doubts and rise above them.

Confidence is something you’re born with.

Many people believe that confidence is something you either have or you don’t, depending on your genetics or character. However, confidence is a dynamic trait that can be developed and strengthened throughout life.

Confidence means thinking you’re better than others.

This is a common myth that confident people are arrogant and place themselves above others. In reality, true confidence is associated with a sense of inner worth and self-respect, rather than comparison or competition with others

Confident people are always extroverted and loud.

This myth suggests that confident individuals are always expressive and extroverted. However, confidence can also be quiet and internal. True confidence manifests in peace and solidity, not necessarily in loud expression.

Vulnerability as a component for building self-confidence

Public speaking is an ordeal for many of us, causing a lot of discomfort and fear. However, when we decide to overcome this fear and face the audience, we can experience a strong sense of confidence. Initially, anxiety and uncertainty may overwhelm us, but as we begin to speak and are well-prepared, and see that we are influencing others, we begin to feel our inner strength and self-belief. Each delivered speech becomes a building block of our confidence as we realize that we are capable of handling situations that previously frightened us.

Stepping out of our comfort zone and trying something new gives our confidence an opportunity to grow and strengthen. Pushing the boundaries of our comfort zone requires courage and perseverance, but such experiences gradually strengthen our inner belief in our abilities.

Traveling presents opportunities for incredible adventures and memories. However, traveling to a new culture, with a new language and customs, is stepping into the unknown. Initially, we may feel uncertain and vulnerable in unfamiliar surroundings. However, as we overcome obstacles, we gain self-assurance and a sense that we are adept at dealing with unfamiliar situations. Whenever we face challenges and overcome them, we gradually begin to feel comfortable and confident in new circumstances. But if we remain stagnant in our comfort zone, our confidence cannot grow.

How to step Into the unknown?

1. Set a goal or challenge that is unfamiliar to you.
2. Acknowledge your inner determination to tackle this challenge. Emphasize your strong will to persevere and not give up at the first hurdle.
3. Confront your fears, recognize them, and face them. (As mentioned in the example of traveling, fear of unfamiliarity, communication in a new culture, and so on may arise.)
4. Acknowledge your vulnerability and accept it as a natural process. Regardless of any failures and difficulties, allow yourself to be human. Be compassionate to yourself.
5. Use positive self-talk to strengthen your confidence and reassure yourself that you believe in yourself. Emphasize your abilities, small victories, and remember that you are capable of achieving your goals.