Simple Techniques Anyone Can Apply To Improve Communication Skills
Imagine you’re sitting in a cafรฉ with a friend. As you’re sharing something important, you notice they’re only nodding vaguely, their gaze wandering over their phone. Suddenly, you run out of words. Should you repeat your last sentence? Did they even hear you? You feel slightly invisible, maybe even unheard.
In reality, this happens all the timeโat home, at work, even with close friends. According to a Harvard study, a staggering 93% of communication isn’t in the words themselves but in tone of voice, body language, and eye contact. Yet, no one has ever taught us how to truly listen, express our thoughts, or establish a connection deeper than the typical “How are you?” โ “I’m good, you?”
The good news? Learning better communication skills is one of the most powerful changes you can make in your life. It can help you build stronger relationships, prevent misunderstandings, and even boost your confidence. Below, you’ll discover simple yet effective techniques that will help you communicate confidently, clearly, and with feeling.
What Types of Communication Skills do We Know?
When we think of communication, we usually imagine conversationโwords, sentences, exchanging opinions. However, most people overlook the fact that we communicate all the time, even when we don’t say a word. In the 1970s, Professor Albert Mehrabian found that 93% of communication is based on tone of voice and body language, while words themselves account for just 7%. What does this mean? It means that it’s not just about what we say, but how we say it.
Verbal Communication
Words are a powerful toolโthey can inspire, connect, or unintentionally hurt. Winston Churchill once said, “A well-chosen word is as effective as a well-aimed bullet.” And indeed, verbal communication is not just speech, but also how we express ourselvesโthe tone of voice, the pace of speech, and even the pauses between words. Want to become a better speaker? Practice active listening, as good communication is a two-way street.
Written Communication
Written words have a special powerโthey stay. They can inspire through books, articles, even simple messages. Research shows that people find it easier to understand and remember information if it’s written clearly and simply. Ernest Hemingway, the master of short sentences, always advised: “Write simply. If you can say something in five words, don’t use ten.”
Nonverbal Communication
Did you know that people are better at spotting a liar through their gestures than through words? Studies show that honest people often use open gestures, maintain eye contact, and have a relaxed posture, while liars often touch their faces, cross their arms, or avoid looking others in the eye. Our movements, facial expressions, and even our breathing patterns can speak louder than words. That’s why it’s essential to be mindful of our body language in communication, as we may unintentionally send the wrong signals.
Simple Techniques How to Improve Communication Skills
1. Understand Your Communication Style
Have you ever wondered how others perceive you when you speak? Are you the one who likes to dominate conversations, or do you prefer to listen and analyze? Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers claimed that “genuine listening is one of the strongest ways we can show love and respect to someone.” This means that good communication isn’t just about talking, but also understanding how your words and behavior affect others.
There are different communication styles: direct (clear expression), passive (backing away), aggressive (overly dominant expression), and assertive (respectful but firm expression of opinion). How can you figure out what style you have? Try observing your reactions in different situationsโdo you quickly take charge, avoid conflict, or set clear boundaries?
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If you want to improve your communication skills, start by exploring your communication style. Once you become aware of how you communicate, you can start consciously changing habits that might be holding you back.
2. Active Listening โ The Secret of Good Speakers
Did you know that on average, we only hear about 25-50% of what someone tells us? This means we overlook half of the information we receive in conversations. Ironically, we all want to be truly heard. How to improve communication skills? The first step is becoming a better listener.
Famous psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized that “most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.” This means we often prepare our response while the other person is speaking, instead of truly focusing on them. Active listening is a skill that requires conscious presence and a few simple yet effective techniques:
๐น Make eye contact, as it shows the other person that you care.
๐น Use open body language โ nodding, smiling, and small affirmations like “I understand” or “Interesting” help build trust.
๐น Donโt interrupt โ allow the conversation to unfold, and only respond after theyโve finished.
Sometimes, the best thing we can do for better communication is simply listen.
3. Words Are Power โ How to Use Them Right?
Have you ever wondered why some people instantly capture attention when they speak? Their words flow smoothly, messages are clear, and listeners are captivated. The secret? A rich and versatile vocabulary. How to improve communication skills? Itโs based on how well we choose and use our words.
Winston Churchill once said: “A well-chosen word is like ammunition in the arsenal of persuasion.” This means the more “verbal weapons” you have, the more clearly and persuasively you can communicate. How can you actually expand your vocabulary?
๐ Read diverse content โ not just books, but also articles, blogs, and even scientific papers. Every new word you encounter is like an additional color shade in your communication style.
โ๏ธ Write โ keep a journal, blog, or short notes. Using words actively helps you retain them.
๐ฃ Adapt your speech to your audience โ use more professional language at work, and simpler terms when speaking with children.
Words have power โ they shape relationships, build bridges, and sometimes even change the world. How much power youโll have depends on how many words you master.
4. The Power of Empathetic Communication
Have you ever had a conversation where you said everything you wanted, but still walked away feeling empty, as if you werenโt truly heard? Or have you been in a situation where someone listened โ but didnโt really hear you? Empathetic communication is the bridge between words and real understanding. Once you master it, relationships improve, misunderstandings decrease, and conversations become deeper and more sincere.
๐ Active listening โ Active listening means not waiting for your turn to speak, but truly understanding the other personโs words, tone, and emotions. Try to imagine how you would feel in their situation.
๐ฌ Choosing the right words โ Phrases like “I understand this is difficult for you” or “I see this is important to you” can show the other person that youโre present in the conversation.
๐ Body language โ Empathy isnโt just in words. Warm gestures, slight nods, open posture, and maintaining eye contact show that youโre truly present in the moment.
With empathy, you not only improve your communication skills, but you also create an environment where people feel safe, accepted, and understood. And who doesnโt want that?
5. How to Properly Express Emotions
EExpressing emotions is one of the most important foundations of good communication, and this is where many people struggle. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, the author of emotional intelligence, highlights that people with high emotional intelligence handle conflicts better, create deeper relationships, and express their emotions in a way that doesnโt cause additional tension.
๐ก Clarity instead of sarcasm โ Sarcasm and veiled remarks often do more harm than good. Instead of saying, “Of course, you’re always so ‘nice’,” try saying, “I feel neglected when this happens.” People donโt read minds, so express your feelings clearly rather than expecting them to figure it out.
๐ฌ Use “I” statements โ If you start a sentence with “You alwaysโฆ” or “You neverโฆ”, the other person is likely to get defensive. Instead, try saying, “I feel unheard when this happens.” This way, youโre not attacking the other person, but simply expressing your feelings.
๐ค Adapt to the other person โ Not everyone reacts to emotions the same way. Some people need a more direct approach, while others respond better to a gentler expression of feelings. How to improve communication skills? Learn to adjust the tone and way of expressing yourself depending on the person you’re speaking with.
6. Conflict Resolution Without Drama (or Regret)
Conflicts are an inevitable part of life โ but did you know that the quality of your relationships doesnโt depend on whether you have conflicts, but how you resolve them? Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of nonviolent communication, says that most conflicts stem from a misunderstanding of needs โ both our own and others’.
๐ก Understand Your Patterns First โ Everyone has certain triggers that quickly push them into an emotional reaction. Are you more explosive when someone interrupts you? Does it frustrate you when youโre not being listened to? To improve your communication skills, start with yourself: What bothers me most in a conflict, and why?
๐ค Understanding Instead of Attacking โ Instead of reacting immediately, ask yourself: What is the real reason the other person thinks this way? Often, behind harsh words, there are fear, insecurity, or a need for recognition. Try showing interest in their point of view, as it will often reduce tension right away.
๐ง Managing Emotions in Crucial Moments โ If you feel overwhelmed by emotions, take a pause. Take a deep breath, count to ten, or step away physically for a few minutes. Many conflicts escalate simply because we react too quickly.
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7. Public Speaking
Public speaking โ for some, itโs a nightmare, for others, an opportunity to shine. Although each of us has personal challenges, thereโs one common factor โ the fear that others wonโt understand us or, even worse, wonโt listen at all. But, as Maya Angelou said, “People will never forget how you made them feel, rather than what you said.” Thatโs the secret: itโs not just what you say, but how you say it. And this is where your process of how to improve communication skills begins.
If you think about your last presentation โ did you feel that sense of something stopping you before you even began? It could simply be nervousness or a lack of confidence in your abilities. To avoid this, itโs important to first know your story. When you know your content, understand why itโs important, and focus on sharing it with others, youโll be more confident. This will help you deliver your message more clearly and passionately.
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Itโs also important to allow yourself a little space. When we speak, sometimes we rush, and as a result, we lose our audience. You start speaking faster because you might be afraid people will lose attention. But in reality, itโs all about pace. When you learn how to pause and allow your words to sink in, youโll be more connected with your audience. Thatโs when real communication begins.