12 Clear Signs You’re Dealing With a Fake Friend

We all want people in our lives who truly feel us — who support us when we’re down and celebrate with us when we succeed. But sometimes, life places us in relationships that seem like friendships on the surface, yet hide something completely different underneath. And those relationships can hurt the most. Not because of major betrayals or dramatic fights, but because of that quiet, sinking feeling that maybe… someone never really cared. If you’ve ever asked yourself how to know if your friend is fake, then you know exactly what I mean.

Fake friends are masters of disguise. Sometimes they’re there when they’re bored. Other times, they listen just to later use your words against you. Psychologists call them “fair-weather friends” – people who stick around when times are good but disappear the moment things get tough. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to tell the difference between real friendships and those that slowly drain us.

These kinds of relationships are often complex and intertwined with years of shared memories, so many people genuinely don’t know how to spot fake friends. But the signs are there. We just need to learn how to see them. This article was written to help you do just that – to empower you, open your eyes, and gently show you what it really means to be surrounded by people who are not truly your allies, even if they wear the mask of a friend. Before your heart says, “give them one more chance,” let your mind see the truth. Because in truth, there is freedom.

Two friends taking a selfie outdoors while studying together in the park — even during happy moments, it's important to reflect on how to know if your friend is fake.

12 Signs to Help You Know if Your Friend is Fake

1. They’re Always There For Fun – Never When It Hurts

Parties? First to arrive. Laughs? Always in the middle of it. But when you fall apart crying at midnight or life pulls the ground from under you… silence. Suddenly they’re too busy, the phone goes quiet, and you’re left alone. These people aren’t your friends—they’re fair-weather companions.

If you’re asking how to know if your friend is fake, this is one of the clearest signs. Real friends don’t check the forecast before showing up. They come because they care. And they stay—even when everything’s falling apart.So ask yourself: Is your friend only around in the light, or also when darkness hits?

2. Your Success Suffocates Them

Have you ever shared good news and felt like the excitement wasn’t mutual? Maybe they forced a smile, quickly changed the subject, and left you feeling a little… empty. True friendship is rooted in genuine happiness for one another. When that joy is missing—and you sense subtle competition or even passive-aggressive remarks—it’s more than awkward; it’s a red flag.

One of the clearest signs of a fake friend is this—they can’t celebrate your wins because your light dims their ego.
If someone can’t cheer for you, ask yourself: Do you really want them in your corner?

Let’s go a little deeper:

3. Criticism Comes Easy, Praise Is Rare

Our brains naturally hold on to negativity more than positivity. And if someone uses that against you, your self-esteem takes a hit.
Fake friends often wrap their criticism in “just being honest,” but remember: a friend isn’t someone who constantly corrects you—they’re someone who knows how to uplift you when you shine.

If they regularly belittle you, judge you, or make you feel small, those aren’t friendly comments. They’re harmful.
And that’s yet another example of how to spot fake friends.

4. They’re Always The Victim

If someone always plays the victim and never takes an ounce of responsibility, ask yourself: Why is the world always “against” them? Why do they never admit when they’re wrong?

That “everyone’s out to get me” mindset might be a defense mechanism—but in friendship, it creates toxic dynamics.
How to know if your friend is fake? Watch how they handle their mistakes. Real friends can say, “I messed up. I’m sorry.” Fake ones will always blame someone else—including you.

5. They Always Have Time For Themselves – Never For You

We all have busy schedules. But you know what? People who want to be part of your life will make time—whether it’s a 10-minute call or a message saying, “Hey, I can’t today, but I’m thinking of you.”

Fake friends don’t do that. They’re always “too busy”… until they need something from you. Then—miraculously—they’re right there.
True friends respect your time. They might not always be available, but they care when things get hard.

Fake friends cancel last minute, disappear when you need them most, and let you do all the giving and waiting. If that sounds familiar, you might be looking at one of the loudest fake friend signs.

6. They Talk Behind Your Back

Let’s be honest. We’ve all said things we regret. But there’s a difference between venting frustration and chronic gossiping.
Fake friends love to share secrets—not just others’, but eventually yours too.

If you notice someone constantly spilling drama or secrets from others’ lives, know this: you’re not the exception. Today they talk about them. Tomorrow it’s you.
Real friends know how to set boundaries, listen without judgment, and speak about you with respect—even when you’re not in the room.
If you don’t feel that kind of trust, it might be time to ask how to know if someone is your fake friend.

7. They Don’t Understand (Or Respect) Your Boundaries

Boundaries are invisible shields that protect your energy, peace, and dignity. A true friend doesn’t just accept your boundaries—they respect them like sacred ground.

A fake friend, on the other hand… walks all over them with muddy boots. Maybe they ask too many personal questions. Maybe they pressure you into things you’re not comfortable with. Maybe you feel guilty for saying “no.”

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That’s not your fault. It’s your right to protect yourself. And it’s their responsibility—if they want to be called a “friend”—to support that.
If your boundaries don’t matter to them, maybe they shouldn’t matter to you either.

8. After Seeing Them, You Feel More Drained Than A Morning With The Tax Office

Emotional exhaustion isn’t just from a “rough day.” It’s a message that something isn’t right.
If you often feel empty, worn out, embarrassed, or confused after hanging out with a friend—listen to that feeling. It’s your inner compass saying, “This isn’t safe. This isn’t your energy.”

True friends don’t drain us—even if we’re introverts. Friendship shouldn’t feel like a chore or a burden. It’s a space where you’re accepted. Where you can be you.
If the friendship feels like an emotional marathon without water breaks—you might already have the answer to how to know if your friend is fake.

9. Your Success Feels Like a Silent Competition, Not a Celebration

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of comparison now and then. Among real friends, that comparison is healthy — inspiring, not destructive. The problem begins when someone can’t (or won’t) give you credit. When your success sparks their silent jealousy or passive competitiveness. And the worst part? They wrap it all up in a smile that doesn’t reach their eyes or in ambiguous remarks. Maybe they say things like, “You’re just lucky,” or “It just worked out for you.” But deep down, you feel something’s off.

If you’re wondering how to know if your friend is fake, watch how they react to your wins. A true friend celebrates with you, not looks for ways to outdo you. A fake friend sees your growth as a threat to their ego. And you’ll feel it — like a quiet shadow cast over your sunshine.

10. They Play With Your Trust

Trust is like glass — once it cracks, it’s never quite the same again. And fake friends? They break that glass without much thought. You confide in them, only to have your words passed on like gossip. Or worse — they use your vulnerability against you when the time comes.

These betrayals cut deep, especially because they come from someone you once called a friend. If you find yourself double-checking what you say or constantly wondering whether they’ll keep their word — that’s not real friendship.

And if you’re asking yourself how to spot fake friends, start with this question: “Do I feel safe around them, or like I’m walking on eggshells?” A real friend protects your soft spots. A fake one exploits them.

11. Emotions Become a Tool for Manipulation

Manipulation is subtle — most of the time, you only notice it when you’re already emotionally drained. A fake friend is great at twisting situations so that you end up feeling guilty, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. “If you were really my friend, you would…” is one of their favorite lines.
They use your empathy as a tool, not as a connection.

Signs of a fake friend often include emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping, and subtle pressure. They decide when you’re a “good friend” — usually when you’re meeting their needs.

If you often feel confused, tired, and keep wondering, “Is it my fault again?” — listen to your gut. A real friend doesn’t guilt you into love. Friendship shouldn’t come with terms and conditions.

12. It’s Always About Them… And You Fade Into the Background

When someone constantly shifts the conversation back to themselves, when your thoughts, feelings, or experiences barely register — that’s a red flag. Real relationships are mutual exchanges, not one-way streets.

Psychologist Dr. Stockard says that when you’re always the listener, the therapist, the one who holds space for someone else — and no one’s doing the same for you — that relationship quickly becomes draining. And there’s nothing friendly about that. Ask yourself: When was the last time the focus was actually on you?
If the answer is “I can’t remember,” you probably already sense how to know if your friend is fake.

True friends ask how you’re doing — and truly mean it. Fake friends use you as a mirror, not to see you, but to see themselves. And in that reflection, there’s no room for real closeness.

Friends in a car, one driving and the other taking a selfie — how to know if your friend is fake can be revealed through subtle moments like these.

How To Deal With Fake Friends Without Losing Yourself

Don’t Be Afraid Of Distance

Some relationships simply aren’t worthy of your closeness. And that’s not cruelty — that’s self-love. Once you recognize how to know fake friends, start with a boundary — clear distance. You don’t owe them an explanation. You don’t have to pretend everything’s fine. Just stop sharing personal things with someone who might twist them against you. When someone shows you they’re not safe — you move them outside your circle. And if you’re tempted to trust them again, ask yourself: How much more pain do a few “random slip-ups” have to cost you?

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Don’t Join The Gossip — Or You Might Be Next

If someone constantly talks badly about others, do you really want to be there when they pick their next target? One of the clearest signs of a fake friend is constant gossip. Honestly — who needs that? If you’re present when they’re tearing others down, you’re just a potential next story. Your greatest power? Not participating. You’re different. And you show it by shifting the conversation — or walking away. Your energy is precious. And so are your words.

Stand Up For Yourself

Is someone pushing you down? Dismissing you? Doing things that hurt you? That’s where learning how to spot a fake friendship begins — when you realize your discomfort means nothing to them. But you’re not voiceless. Speak up. Say it’s not okay. That you don’t like it. That it hurts. The more you train this “self-worth muscle,” the fewer fake friends you’ll attract — because you’ll become uncomfortable ground for them. And that’s exactly what you deserve to be.

Care For The Real Ones — Not Everyone Is The Same

Once you recognize how to spot fake friends, it might be tempting to shut your heart to everyone. But don’t forget — real souls exist too. The ones who don’t compete, who don’t measure your worth through comparison, but through genuine connection, support, and that warm feeling when you sit with someone in silence — and everything still feels perfectly right. Nurture those relationships. Make time for them. They’re your true allies.

Step Back — Slowly, Gently, But Clearly

You don’t need drama. You don’t need to send long messages. Just… stop calling. Stop sharing. Stop forcing yourself into places where you’re not seen. And how do you protect yourself? By returning to yourself — again and again. Gently, softly, with the clear knowing that: Your well-being is not up for debate. When you distance yourself from fake friends, you create space. And in that space, new people begin to enter. Maybe slowly — but more sincerely.

In The End — You Are The One Who Chooses

Learn how to recognize fake friends’ signs, but most of all — learn to listen to yourself. If after meeting someone you always feel more empty than full, that means something. You don’t have to overanalyze their words if your body has long been saying, “I don’t feel good around them.” That’s enough. That’s you. That’s the truth. And the truth should always be your compass — for real.