How To Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others: 9 Pro Techniques

One of the pitfalls almost everyone encounters is comparing themselves to other people. Modern technology further encourages and reinforces this behavior, creating a sense that we must be similar to others to feel worthy. However, comparing ourselves to others does us no favors; quite the opposite. In the following, you will learn how to avoid comparing yourself to others and start appreciating yourself more.

If we look around us, we can always find someone who appears to be doing better than us, someone who has more than us, or someone who looks better. But do you ever wonder why we waste so much energy comparing ourselves to others?

What are the reasons for comparing ourselves to others?

This question is like a puzzle that we all toy within our minds. From the time we were small children, we compared who had more colored pencils or who had a bigger toy, to adults comparing who has a better job or a happier relationship.

Comparison is an internal reflex that seems to be ingrained in our being. Throughout history, we’ve strived for belonging and approval from our community. When we see someone achieving something exceptional, our natural reaction is to compare ourselves to see if we’re on the same level.

Another strong motivation for comparing ourselves to others is our desire for progress. When we see someone else achieving something we also aspire to, it acts as a lever driving us to strive for the same or even more. When we see a friend who has lost quite a few kilograms, we get motivated to do more for our own bodies, right?

Essentially, comparing ourselves to others is a double-edged sword—it can motivate us to achieve more, but it can also push us into a spiral of dissatisfaction. Excessive comparison with others leads to harmful effects such as low self-esteem, envy, and even depression. It’s crucial to find a healthy balance between healthy competition and self-assurance and to realize that we are all completely on our own paths. As Albert Einstein said, “Never compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are either inferior or superior.”

Psychologist Leon Festinger created the theory of social comparison. He believes that human comparison is a way to evaluate oneself, and to understand one’s qualities and abilities through comparisons with peers. And this social comparison works in two ways:

• We want to improve because of the comparison, which inspires us to change and grow, or
• Comparison awakens feelings of envy, jealousy, and disappointment within us. Unfortunately, this second method is the most common.

How to Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others and Appreciate Your Uniqueness

Define Your Idea of Success

Everything will change once you define your idea of success. This is one of the most powerful tools in combating toxic comparisons with others. What does success mean to you? Is it financial stability, satisfaction in relationships, or personal growth? When you clearly define what matters to you, comparisons with others become less significant.

Let’s say your idea of success is related to raising healthy and happy children. Why would you then compare yourself to your neighbor’s successful career? When you focus on what truly matters to you, comparisons with others become marginal and insignificant.

Scientific evidence also supports this idea. Studies have shown that people who have clearly defined goals and values are less likely to suffer from toxic comparisons with others. When you know what you want to achieve in life, you focus on your own path instead of following in the footsteps of others.

As the famous philosopher Epictetus said, “Our intention is not to be like others but to be the best version of ourselves.” So set clear goals, follow your values, and embark on your unique path to success. When you do this, you will notice how the need to compare yourself to others slowly fades away, as you are satisfied with your own achievements and lifestyle.

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2. Identify Your Strengths

Discover your strengths and open the door to reducing the need for comparison with others. When we are aware of our unique abilities, we compare ourselves less with others’ strengths and appreciate our own accomplishments more.

Take, for example, the genius Albert Einstein. You might be surprised to know that he failed in French exams. However, this did not blur his view of his own strengths. Einstein realized that his talents and abilities lay in other areas, such as mathematics and physics. Instead of dwelling on his shortcomings, he built on his strengths and became one of the greatest scientists of all time.

It’s also important to understand that we are all unique and each have our own set of strengths. Remember, even the greatest achievers experience failures, but that should not cloud your perception of your own worth. As Walt Disney said, “It’s not enough to be good. We must be great.” So take the time to discover your strengths and build on them to reach your full potential. When you do this, you will notice that the need to compare yourself to others gradually diminishes, allowing you to focus on your own unique path to success.

3. Look From Another Perspective

Sometimes we need to look from another perspective to evaluate something. Most people we encounter on social media or on the streets are strangers to us, so imagine that each of these individuals is like a book that you only read the first page of. The truth about these individuals is much deeper and more complex.

You might see an incredibly put-together woman whom you compare yourself to because of her appearance and luxurious clothes, but perhaps behind all that beauty are financial struggles and debts. Each of us has our own needs and desires. As John Wooden said, “Never compare yourself to others unless you want to be disappointed.”

4. Put Yourself in the Role of a Learner

Let’s look through the eyes of a child or a learner and open the door to collaboration rather than competition. The mindset of lifelong learning encourages us to see others as fellow travelers on our journey of exploration, rather than competitors in an endless struggle.
When you adopt this mindset, you can free yourself from the burden of comparing yourself to others, as you realize that we are all at different stages of personal development. Think of an artist creating their masterpiece. Every brushstroke is part of the process, every mistake is an opportunity for learning. The same applies to us in life. Every day is an opportunity to create something unique, something that reflects our own path.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” When we embrace this philosophy, we focus on the process of learning and growth, rather than the end result. This allows us to free ourselves from the pressure of comparing ourselves to others and instead focus on creating our own masterpiece – life.

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5. Focus on Small Achievements

Next time you find yourself caught in the trap of comparing yourself to others, focus on achieving small successes. Take time for a small project that you can complete in a short amount of time and do it well. This simple approach can create a positive momentum, redirecting your attention away from comparing yourself to others.
Scientific research shows that the sense of accomplishment, whether small or large, is associated with increased feelings of happiness and confidence. When you focus on small achievements, you can avoid the trap of comparing yourself to others and instead focus on your own personal growth and satisfaction. Have you been putting off painting your bedroom? Set yourself a new project, a day and time when you’ll start, and give yourself a sense of accomplishment.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can,” said American writer Robert Collier.

6. Practice Gratitude

When we start comparing ourselves to others, we often forget about all the blessings we already have in our lives. Instead of focusing on shortcomings, gratitude directs us to recognize and appreciate what we already have. After all, we want to avoid comparing ourselves to others, right?
Think about the simple yet precious things you have: a roof over your head, health, food on the table, loving relationships, a body that allows you to experience everyday life, a loyal pet… When you become aware of these blessings, your heart will be filled with gratitude, freeing you from the burden of comparing yourself to others.

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To deepen the sense of gratitude, try this exercise. Pause for a moment and focus on five things:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can touch
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

This will remind you that the present moment is the only moment that truly exists and that it’s important to appreciate this moment. As Marcus Aurelius wisely said, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

7. Limit Technology Usage

Limiting technology usage is like a breathing exercise for our minds. In today’s world, we are often bombarded with stimuli and distractions that prevent us from truly connecting with ourselves and the people around us. When we pause and observe our surroundings, we may notice how people sometimes drift apart from each other due to excessive use of technology.
Since childhood, I’ve been an analyzer, and this trait has become ingrained in my character. Therefore, lately, when visiting restaurants, I notice how many people are immersed in their screens instead of dedicating this time to the present moment and their families. Isn’t it sad? I believe it is.

As an ancient proverb goes, “Where your attention goes, there your heart is also.” So, when you’re in the company of your loved ones or enjoying nature or your hobbies, try to maintain your attention and presence without resorting to technology. This way, you’ll truly appreciate the moments you share with others and build deeper and more connected relationships. And not only that, you’ll avoid comparing yourself to others.

8. Cleanse Your Social Media Profiles

Social media platforms can be mirrors reflecting what we consume. If you follow people and content that negatively impacts you and doesn’t bring you any benefits, it’s time to make some changes.

Consider who you follow and how these profiles influence your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Do you feel inspired, motivated, and supported when you read their posts? Or does their content make you feel down, fill you with self-pity, or evoke feelings of inferiority? Follow people who inspire you, encourage you, and help you grow as a person.

Cleansing your social media profiles is like taking a refreshing shower on a hot day – it frees you from the burden of negativity and refreshes you with new energy. When you have only positive and supportive influences present in your virtual environment, you’ll feel more focused, motivated, and satisfied in your daily life.

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9. Become Aware and Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

Awareness is the key to making new changes in your life. Often, we are not aware of comparing ourselves to others, as most of our actions occur in the subconscious. It’s time to awaken consciousness and become more attentive to our thoughts and actions.

Next time you find yourself on social media, truly focus on what you’re doing and how you feel. Pay attention to whether you’re comparing yourself to others, feeling unworthy, or inadequate when viewing these posts. When you’re aware of negative patterns, you can change your behavior.