Examples of Toxic Behavior in a Relationship You Should Never Ignore

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Relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives. In them, we long for closeness, understanding, trust, and warmth that support us and give us a sense of security. It is precisely in this longing that we often build our lives, so it is clear that any behavior that disrupts this balance affects us. We have all encountered people whose behavior drains, confuses, or simply harms our well-being. Such moments teach us how important it is to recognize what is healthy and when it is time to stand up for ourselves.

That is why I prepared this article. Examples of toxic behavior in a relationship will help you recognize patterns that create an unhealthy dynamic and understand why certain behaviors affect us. The goal is for you to gain a clear insight into toxic behaviors, respond more easily, and at the same time protect yourself without losing yourself.

What Is Toxic Behavior in a Relationship?

Toxic behavior in a relationship is a pattern of ways of acting that systematically harms the mental, emotional, or physical well-being of the other person and undermines the sense of security, respect, and trust in the relationship. In such a relationship, basic needs for respect, equality, and safe emotional expression are gradually nullified as the negative dynamic persists and strengthens over time.

In every relationship, an argument or unpleasant situation may occasionally happen — this is normal. However, a relationship is labeled toxic only when negative patterns replace healthy ways of communication and behavior, causing long-term emotional damage or stress. Lack of respect, manipulation, controlling behavior, or refusing to take responsibility for one’s actions are some of the behaviors that contribute to creating a toxic environment.

Such a dynamic does not support personal growth, well-being, or connection; on the contrary — it often causes feelings of helplessness, self-doubt, or loss of trust in one’s own thoughts and feelings.

What Causes Toxic Behavior

Toxic behavior stems from patterns that develop due to internal and external factors shaping an individual’s perception of themselves, others, and the world around them. Understanding these causes is key to recognizing why someone behaves harmfully in relationships.

Main causes include:

Past traumas and emotional vulnerability – People who were neglected, abused, or grew up in unstable environments during childhood or adolescence often do not know healthy ways to express emotions or resolve conflicts. They develop patterns that help them survive but harm themselves and others in relationships.
Low self-esteem and fear of rejection – When an individual does not believe they are good enough or deserve love, they may start controlling, criticizing, or manipulating to secure a sense of safety and validation. This behavior often carries over into all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Inability to communicate healthily – If a person did not have role models or experiences showing how to express emotions, needs, or boundaries clearly and respectfully, they may develop behaviors that are aggressive, manipulative, or passive-aggressive. This causes toxic patterns in any relationship they are part of.
Unhealthy patterns from past relationships – People often carry over dynamics they observed or experienced before, even if these were unhealthy. Repeating these patterns is often unconscious but creates harmful dynamics in new friendships, family, or romantic relationships.
Personality traits and mental health – Certain personality traits, such as impulsivity, excessive need for control, or difficulty with empathy, combined with unresolved emotional wounds, increase the likelihood of developing toxic behaviors that a person then brings into various relationships.

Scared woman listening to a man speaking, showing signs of discomfort in a tense relationship

20 Real Examples of Toxic Behavior in a Relationship

1. They Always Focus on Negativity

A toxic person focuses on criticism and always finds something wrong, no matter your efforts. This behavior creates constant tension and self-doubt, as you never receive acknowledgment or praise for your actions. When constantly faced with such negativity, feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and exhaustion can arise, affecting your emotional well-being and your ability to enjoy the relationship.

2. They Are Always Manipulative

Manipulation is one of the most common forms of toxic partner behavior. Such a person uses lying, guilt, emotional blackmail, or threats to get what they want. This behavior undermines trust and creates a dynamic where you feel trapped or forced to meet their demands. Over time, it can affect your decisions, self-esteem, and sense of freedom in the relationship.

3. They Play the Victim in Every Situation

When someone constantly plays the victim, they take control of the situation and force you to feel guilty or responsible for things that are not your responsibility. This behavior creates a power dynamic where you feel powerless, emotionally drained, and often confused about who is truly responsible for conflicts.

4. They Always Speak Negatively About Others

A toxic person often wants others to feel inferior or incapable. Constantly criticizing and judging others creates a dangerous environment of envy and distrust, affecting your ability to trust the people around you or feel safe in social settings. This behavior undermines healthy relationships and fosters emotional tension.

5. They Lack Empathy for Others

When there is no empathy, the person does not consider your feelings or needs. Signs of a toxic relationship often appear as ignoring, indifference, or complete self-centeredness. As a result, you feel invisible, unimportant, or emotionally lonely, reducing the quality and safety of the relationship.

6. They Never Take Responsibility for Their Actions

A toxic person always blames others for their mistakes and refuses to take responsibility. This leads to recurring conflicts and frustrations, as genuine conversations or problem-solving never occur. Long-term avoidance of responsibility undermines trust and destabilizes the relationship.

7. Jealousy and Possessiveness

Excessive jealousy can lead to possessiveness and controlling a partner. When a person does not trust and wants to control every decision or interaction you make, it suffocates your freedom and sense of self-worth. This behavior destroys the foundation of trust and mutual respect, which is characteristic of unhealthy relationship behaviors.

8. They Never Apologize

A toxic person will not apologize for their mistakes and will always try to shift the blame onto you or others. This prevents conflict resolution and creates a pattern where you feel responsible for things that are not your responsibility, leading to emotional exhaustion and self-doubt.

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9. They Do Not Respect Your Boundaries

When someone ignores your boundaries, they try to control your decisions, thoughts, or behavior. Such behavior weakens the sense of safety in the relationship, reduces independence, and undermines trust. Respecting boundaries is the foundation of any healthy relationship, so ignoring them is a clear sign of toxic partner traits.

10. Constant Criticism

A toxic person almost never gives praise. Everything you do is scrutinized, and they will always find something wrong. This is not because you are bad — it is their way of controlling the situation and feeling more powerful.

11. They Try to Isolate You

If you notice that your partner or close person is trying to distance you from friends or family, it is a sign of manipulation. This keeps you close to them while limiting your support, which is unhealthy for the relationship.

12. They Lie and Hide the Truth

If a person frequently hides the truth or lies, it is not just a matter of small lies. It is a pattern where something is always being hidden, creating confusion and doubt because you never know what you can trust.

13. They Always Exploit Others

Toxic people look for opportunities to gain at your expense. You may not always notice the abuse immediately, but the feeling that you are always giving more than you receive is a clear sign.

14. Everything Revolves Around Them

If in every conversation, every action, and every decision, this person is always at the center while your needs or opinions are ignored, you are dealing with a toxic person. This is not just selfishness — it is a way they maintain control and attention on themselves.

15. They Constantly Pressure Your Conscience

A toxic person can regularly use guilt to control you. It is not always obvious, but every situation can turn into a “you are at fault” scenario, gradually affecting how you make decisions.

16. They Only See the Bad in You

Every move you make is wrong, and every action is criticized. This is how they maintain power and create constant self-doubt. Your good qualities are ignored.

17. You Feel Like They Never Listen to You

When you try to share your feelings or express your opinion, a toxic person often does not listen. They may not ignore you intentionally, but their response shows that your needs or thoughts are not important to them.

Couple turned away from each other, illustrating distance and lack of connection in an unhealthy relationship

18. They Are Competitive

If every conversation or achievement is a competition where they must always be better than you, it is unhealthy competitiveness. This is a need for dominance, not fun or healthy play.

19. They Spread Gossip and Talk Behind Your Back

When they gossip about others or spread rumors, they create an environment of distrust. Constant backbiting is a sign of a toxic approach to relationships and interactions.

20. They Force You to Believe Their Beliefs

A toxic person wants you to believe their truth, not yours. It does not matter if it is right or wrong — the goal is to control how you think or feel, limiting your freedom in the relationship.

How to Deal With Toxic People

Once you start recognizing examples of toxic behavior in a relationship, you often catch yourself thinking: “Okay, now I know this isn’t right… but what should I do?” This is a completely normal question. No one taught us how to deal with people whose behavior disrupts our peace. So let me give you some helpful advice.

Trust Your Feelings

If you constantly feel bad, confused, or unworthy around someone, it’s not a coincidence. Your body and feelings often recognize toxic behavior before your mind can explain it. You don’t need all the proof. It’s enough to ask yourself: How do I feel around this person most of the time?

Don’t Justify Their Behavior

We quickly find reasons: they had a difficult childhood, they’re stressed, they didn’t mean it that way. All of this may be true, but it still doesn’t mean their behavior toward you is okay. Understanding does not mean you have to tolerate everything. There has to be a limit somewhere.

Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are not an attack. They are information. You tell someone what is acceptable to you and what is not. If someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries, the problem is not that you didn’t communicate clearly — the problem is that they don’t want to respect you.

Don’t Over-Explain Yourself

Toxic people often pull you into long explanations, justifications, and excuses. And the more you explain, the more you feel unheard. Sometimes one sentence is enough. Those who want to understand you will understand even without five explanations.

Don’t Take Everything Personally

Toxic behavior says more about the person exhibiting it than about you. Criticism, humiliation, or ignoring often comes from their internal struggles.
This doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. But it does mean that you are not the problem.

Tell Them How Their Behavior Affects You

Many people are not aware of the impact of their behavior on others. And it’s true — we all perceive things differently.
So be specific about how you feel: “When you criticize me like that, it lowers my self-esteem,” or “When you don’t listen to me, I feel unimportant.” Not to change them — but to stay true to yourself. If someone refuses to hear you, that in itself is an answer.

Observe Actions, Not Words

Toxic people often speak nicely, promise, and apologize. But if behavior doesn’t change, words carry no weight. Trust what you see in practice. Actions almost always tell the truth.

Allow Yourself Distance

Distance is not defeat. Sometimes it’s necessary to see clearly what is happening. You don’t have to end the relationship immediately. Sometimes even reduced contact shows how much peace you really lack.

Don’t Wait for Them to Change

Many people stay in unhealthy relationships out of hope that it will be different, that they will eventually understand. Instead, ask yourself: If nothing changes, can I live with this for a long time?

Choose Yourself

Choosing yourself does not mean being selfish. It means taking responsibility for your life, well-being, and boundaries. People who care about you will understand. Those who are comfortable with you staying silent and suffering — they will have a problem with it. And that tells you more about them than about you.

Can A Toxic Person Ever Change?

I believe a person can change, even if they exhibit toxic behavior — but only in one case: when they become aware of it themselves. When they start observing themselves, their reactions, and their words. When they feel the desire to be a better person, to act differently, healthier, and more respectfully toward others.

That’s when the real work begins. Not on others, but on themselves. Learning how to pause before reacting. How to think before speaking. How to take responsibility for their behavior without blaming their partner, parents, past, or circumstances. This is a conscious process and requires effort. But yes — that’s when change is possible.

What is not possible is for someone else to change a toxic person. Not love. Not patience. Not waiting. Not understanding. And not excusing their behavior. No matter how much you love someone, you cannot make that internal shift for them. And that is why waiting for change is often cruel, exhausting, and sometimes in vain. In the end, it always depends on the person — not on you.

Remember, you are always worthy of respect, love, and peace in your relationships. Let this article help you recognize the signs, set boundaries, and take care of yourself. Be true to yourself and your heart — always. 💛