9 Tips to Overcome Perfectionism for a Stress-Free, Relaxed Life
Do you ever feel like you’re never good enough, no matter how hard you try? Have you ever experienced how the constant pursuit of perfection traps you in stress and anxiety? Do you avoid starting new projects because you’re afraid they won’t be perfect? You’re not alone. Perfectionism is a trap that many fall into, but few realize how much it limits and exhausts us. Now is the right time to break free from these chains and live a more relaxed life. In this article, we’ll explore practical tips for dealing with perfectionism that will help you let go of control, embrace imperfections, and focus on what truly matters in life.
Perfectionism is like a double-edged sword – on the one hand, it motivates us towards excellence, but on the other hand, it leads us to constant dissatisfaction and burnout. So, how do we find balance? How do we stop self-blaming and accept that we are all just human and make mistakes? Read on.
How does perfectionism manifest in everyday life?
Perfectionism is a virus that can infect all areas of our lives, whether it’s at work, in the search for a perfect partner and other relationships, or even in everyday tasks. It might happen that you feel relaxed in one area of your life and actually allow yourself to make mistakes, while in another area you constantly strive for perfection.
You might set extremely high standards for yourself at work and strive to exceed expectations, leading to feelings of pressure, dissatisfaction, and even burnout. At the same time, you might not be as hard on yourself at home and allow yourself to relax.
Perfectionism often forces us to focus on what is not perfect instead of appreciating what we have already achieved. This can lead to the feeling that we are never good enough, no matter how hard we try. Therefore, it’s crucial to recognize how perfectionism manifests in your daily life and take the first steps towards gradually letting it go.
Overcoming Perfectionism: Simple Tips for Reducing Stress
1. Recognize Perfectionism
Dealing with perfectionism starts with the first step – recognizing that perfectionism is affecting your life. When we think of boundaries, most of us think of personal boundaries in relationships, but work also needs its boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with high standards, but where is the line between healthy ambition and perfectionism? Start by analyzing your thoughts and behaviors.
Ask yourself:
- Am I constantly striving for everything to be perfect?
- Do I feel bad if things aren’t perfect?
- Am I afraid of being judged if I don’t meet my standards?
- Do I constantly check and edit things to make them perfect?
- Do I procrastinate on tasks because I’m afraid I won’t do them well enough?
- Do I feel pressured to always meet others’ expectations of me?
- Do I set unrealistic standards that are difficult to achieve?
- Do I feel like I have to work harder than everyone else?
- Do I have trouble accepting praise and recognition because I always see what could be better?
- Do I often find myself obsessing over how I will handle something?
If you find yourself answering yes to most of these questions, it’s very likely that perfectionism is deeply rooted in your daily life. So, it’s time for a change.
2. The 80% Rule
Perfectionism often leads to a sense that we are never fully satisfied with our work, which causes procrastination and avoidance of new projects. One technique that can be effective in dealing with perfectionism is using the 80% rule.
The 80% rule works by telling yourself that a task is good enough when it reaches 80% of your standards. Why? Because 100% perfection is never truly achievable; there is always something that could be improved or changed. Perfectionism drives you to chase this unattainable ideal, which only leads to stress and wasted time.
When you achieve 80% of your standards, allow yourself to complete the task and move on. This way, you not only finish more things, but you also worry less about finding that final perfect touch.
3. Focus on the journey, not the destination
When dealing with perfectionism, it’s crucial to learn to appreciate the journey, not just the destination. Perhaps due to our cultural characteristics or deeply rooted Christian upbringing, we often associate work with suffering, hoping that one day, after all this effort, things will be better. But what if I told you that you don’t have to suffer to be successful or achieve your goals? Work can be done just as well – if not better – when it is accompanied by laughter, relaxation, and good spirits.
The secret is simple: work will be completed whether you complain about it or enjoy it. The likelihood is that it will be done even better if you relax, laugh, and sometimes even joke about it.
Mind-Boosting Exercises To Improve Focus And Concentration
When our bodies are tense and we’re under stress, we experience the world around us similarly to moments of fear. Our field of vision narrows, increasing the chances of mistakes. Conversely, when we enjoy what we’re doing, our field of vision broadens, allowing us to be better and more effective.
Instead of focusing solely on the goal, learn to enjoy the journey. Every step, every task, every experience is important.
4. Making and accepting mistakes
Dealing with perfectionism involves a crucial step: learning to intentionally make and accept mistakes. It might sound unimaginable, but I assure you that the world won’t stop if something isn’t done perfectly or exactly when you envisioned it. Sometimes we feel like a single grammatical error will cause the entire universe to collapse, but that’s simply not true. Here’s proof – that “minor” mistake you’re currently noticing. Everything is still okay, right?
The world won’t stop because of our mistakes (we’re not that important). Sometimes it seems like we exaggerate and seek perfection where it’s unnecessary. Is it really so terrible if the line of eyeliner on your right eye doesn’t match the one on your left or if you woke up with a pimple on your forehead?
Don’t fear mistakes – be brave and accept them as a natural part of life. Instead of striving for perfection, allow yourself to be human. Once you learn to accept mistakes, a great burden will be lifted, and life will become more light-hearted and relaxed.
5. Pay attention to your inner dialogue
Dealing with perfectionism often means being aware of how you speak to yourself. Your inner dialogue is a powerful tool that can affect your mood, motivation, and even your achievements. If you find that you are being too hard on yourself with expectations that are often unrealistic and burdensome, it’s time to change your dialogue.
The Ultimate Guide To Beating Fear Of Rejection
Start by catching moments when you criticize or pressure yourself. You might say things like, “I’ll never be good enough,” or “If it’s not perfect, I’ve failed.” These thoughts are a sign of perfectionism; instead, try to consciously replace them with more realistic and encouraging thoughts.
For example, when you notice you’re being too hard on yourself, tell yourself: “I am good enough, even if things aren’t perfect,” or “Mistakes are part of learning; every step forward is progress.”
The more you consciously choose kinder and more encouraging thoughts, the less perfectionism will constrain you. Learn to be compassionate with yourself and accept that you are worthy of respect and love, regardless of how perfect or imperfect you feel.
6. Set achievable goals
Dealing with perfectionism often involves setting goals that are excessively high and perhaps even unrealistic. If your goals are too demanding for your current abilities, it’s time to reconsider what you can realistically aim for.
Start by setting goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART goals). Instead of aiming for “Perfection in everything I do,” set a goal like “Improve a specific skill over the next three months by practicing it every week.” Such goals are more realistic and allow for progress without undue stress.
Remember, achieving goals also involves taking time and allowing yourself breaks along the way. Perfection is not the goal; growth, learning, and enjoyment in the process are. If you don’t achieve a goal, it doesn’t mean the end of your journey. You may just need more time, more experience, or a change in approach.
9 Tricks That Will Help You Deal With Loneliness
If fear of failure is hindering your ability to reach your goals, it’s important to confront that fear. Fear of failure often stems from perfectionistic thinking that tells you you must be flawless to succeed. In reality, failure can be one of the best teachers and can lead to greater successes in the future.
7. Seek meaning instead of perfection
Dealing with perfectionism often leads to a constant search for perfection, but this approach rarely brings true satisfaction. Instead of always striving for perfection, ask yourself why you started your journey in the first place. What was the meaning that motivated you? By focusing on meaning rather than just the goal, you’ll find it easier to enjoy every step you take.
Why was this work, project, or life path important to you? If you find meaning in what you’re doing, you’ll discover that perfection is not necessary for success. Instead, meaning will guide you and help you stay motivated, even when you encounter challenges.
Lost Your Motivation? 12 Proven Tips To Get It Back
Meaning is what gives you the energy to continue, even when things seem to go off track. When you focus on meaning, you no longer feel the need to achieve perfection, knowing that your work is already important and valuable.
8. Change your beliefs and behavior
Dealing with perfectionism often means that you’re overburdening yourself with details that aren’t really that important. Instead of spending hours agonizing over what to wear for a simple outing, stop and ask yourself the following questions:
- Is it really important? Ask yourself if your decision is genuinely important or if it’s just unnecessary stress.
- Does this task really require so much detail? See if all these details are truly necessary to complete the task.
- Am I focusing too much on trivial details? Determine if minor details are distracting you from the bigger goal.
- How would I feel if I let go of the complications? Imagine how it would be to free yourself from unnecessary stress and complications.
- What is the worst that can happen if I don’t achieve perfection? Consider whether the potential consequences of imperfection are as severe as you imagine.
- Would I accept a simpler solution? Check if there’s a simpler, yet still effective solution that could make the task easier.
- Am I enjoying the process? Am I under too much pressure and expectation? Assess whether your current approach to the task is pleasant or overly burdensome.
- Will it really matter in a month? Consider whether this task or decision will still be important after some time.
When you overextend yourself to achieve perfection, you often miss opportunities for spontaneity, enjoyment, and relaxation. Pressures and expectations can lead to stress and anxiety, preventing you from enjoying what you do.
9. Overcoming procrastination
Dealing with perfectionism often involves battling procrastination, which is frequently a result of fear of making mistakes. When you set “perfect” standards, tasks can seem too daunting, leading to constant procrastination. For example, you might find that your house remains messy despite high cleanliness standards, or you delay writing a work report because you fear not meeting your high expectations.
Here are some ways to overcome procrastination and effectively tackle tasks:
Create realistic schedules
Instead of setting unrealistic expectations, break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps. For example, rather than tackling the entire report at once, set a goal to research and write only the introduction today. Write these steps on a chart or calendar and set deadlines for each one. It’s important to reward yourself for completing each individual goal – this will help you stay motivated and positive. Also, pre-set how much time you will spend on each step to avoid aimless working or overburdening yourself. Aim to complete the task, not perfect it.
Set priorities
Perfectionists often struggle with deciding where to direct their energy because they want to achieve perfection in everything. Prioritize tasks by determining which are most important to complete and which are less critical. Accept that you don’t need to put in 100% effort for every task – sometimes it’s enough to complete a task at a satisfactory level.
Focus on progress, not perfection
Instead of focusing on perfection, focus on progress. Small steps are still steps forward. When you accept that each small step is part of the process and that perfection is not always attainable, you’ll find it easier to overcome procrastination and approach tasks with less stress.
