Say This Next Time Someone Asks Why You’re Still Single
At some point, everyone who is living without a partner faces this questionable “treat”: Why are you still single? And while for some, this may seem like just an innocent question, for many of us, it cuts deeper than it first appears. It’s like someone suddenly turns on the light in a room where all you wanted was a bit of peace. And now you have to explain… to who exactly? Your aunt? Your neighbor on the fourth floor? An acquaintance who barely knows you? In those moments, you almost wish you had a sentence or two ready, something that’s honest, witty, and most importantly – yours.
The truth is, today, being single is often a choice. And no, not because someone is “too demanding” or because they’ve had “bad luck in love.” Quite the opposite. As psychologist and author Bella DePaulo explains, more and more people choose singleness because it allows them to lead a rich, free, and deeply fulfilling life.
And yet – despite research, despite new social values, despite the fact that over 80% of people admit that a relationship is not necessary for happiness – the question of being single is still on the menu. Often served without introduction, warm, intrusive – and that’s what makes it hard to digest.
Today, my intention is to explore simple yet effective ways to answer when someone asks why you’re single.
Here Is What to Say When Someone Asks Why You’re Single
“Because I’m Focused on Myself Right Now – And Honestly, I’m Great Company.”
If you want to sound a bit bold, you can use this response, which grabs attention but still radiates confidence. It clearly conveys that you value your independence and won’t complicate your happiness to meet societal expectations. And what’s wrong with focusing on your growth, your interests, and your personal development?
True happiness comes from within, not from a relationship, so why not enjoy your own company? Psychologist Jillian Turecki says it’s crucial to invest in people who are willing to invest in us. So, if you decide to be single, it’s completely fine and healthy. And in the meantime? Spend time with your best “partner” – yourself!
“It’s Not My Priority Right Now.”
When the question about your relationship status feels a bit intrusive, this response can be a great solution. It immediately shows that you have other things currently more important—whether it’s your career, mental health, friendships, or personal growth.
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People often forget that individuals can have different priorities, and not every moment is ideal for entering a relationship. With an answer like this, you shift the focus to what’s important to you at the moment without the need for further explanations.
“I’m Not Interested in Anyone Right Now.”
This is a short and simple answer that puts all further conversations on ice. And why not? If you’re currently focused on other things and not interested in finding a partner, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no need to feel pressured to explain your decision. “I’m not interested in anyone right now” is a clear answer that shows you have your values and are not looking for “compromises” on who you spend time with.
“What If I’m Single, But That Doesn’t Mean Something Is Wrong?”
This might be the strongest response you can choose—especially if the question is coming from someone who might want to diminish your worth because you’re not in a relationship. “What if everything is fine, and I’m actually perfectly happy with this?” can be a powerful statement that puts everything into perspective.
And if someone insists on asking why you’re single, it’s time to shift the focus on the question: why is it so important for someone to find a partner when you might be enjoying your life as it is?
“I Just Haven’t Met My Person Yet.”
What do you say when someone asks why you’re still single? Many people who ask this question often expect a quick answer, as if it’s something that can be easily explained. But in reality, why should you view your life through the lens of urgency? Why are you single? Well, it’s not something that should be “resolved” quickly—life isn’t just a checklist we have to cross off.
One of the best responses is simply acknowledging that you haven’t met your person yet. It’s not a “problem,” it’s a phase of life in which some of us feel genuinely free and happy. As neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez says, “Being single is not something to be ashamed of. It can be a decision that leads to inner contentment.”
And when you share this, you can add a little humor to ease the situation. Maybe you can add: “I promise you’ll be the first to know when something starts ‘clicking.'” And then quickly change the topic. That way, you’re still kind, honest, but not opening up your personal space too much for others.
“Why Are You Asking?”
This is a response that might sound a bit unusual at first, but it can be really powerful. When someone asks, “Why are you still single?” you can simply turn the question back on them. This is a great way to change the dynamic of the conversation if you feel the question is being asked inappropriately.
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Maybe the person didn’t mean to be intrusive, but when you feel the conversation turning uncomfortable, you can easily respond: “Why are you asking?” This answer prompts the person who asked to reflect on why they’re asking in the first place and gives you a chance to steer the conversation in a more pleasant and friendly direction. “Hmm, why are you asking?” can be said with a smile, which will ease the tension in the room.
If the conversation continues, you can gently add: “I’d rather talk about something else.” It’s a polite but firm way to show that you can be single and happy—without the need for further explanations.
“What Do You Mean By That?”
Sometimes, questions about being single are posed in a way that the asker expects you to have a ready answer. It could be a compliment—”How come you’re still single?!”—implying that you’re so great you should already have a partner. But at the same time, this question might carry a hidden suggestion that something’s wrong with you because you’re single.
If you want to avoid feeling guilty, you can simply answer with: “What do you mean by that?” This question encourages the person asking to think about what they really mean when they ask someone why they’re single.
They might realize that this question can be more sensitive than they initially thought. With this response, you smooth over the awkwardness of the question without feeling like you have to justify your life. Be honest, be open, and if needed, protect your inner happiness from external expectations. Being single is not something that needs “fixing.”
“I Enjoy Being Single.”
When people ask why you’re not in a relationship, often the easiest response is simple and honest: “I enjoy being single.” Despite society’s pressure to “settle down” and have a partner, being single can mean freedom, independence, and personal growth.
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Researchers like Bella DePaulo, who have long studied the challenges and benefits of single life, emphasize that more and more people choose singlehood because it offers greater opportunities for self-awareness, seeking personal happiness, and strengthening relationships that aren’t necessarily romantic.
What to say when someone asks why you’re single? You have a perfectly legitimate option to focus on the inner fulfillment that a life without a partner brings. Additionally, this answer is free from the burden of feeling like you need to explain yourself or apologize. Singlehood is not synonymous with loneliness.
And that’s the beauty of the response “I enjoy being single”—you’re clearly showing that you’re content with your choice and don’t need anyone to complete your happiness. Sometimes, it’s the answer people need to take a break from all the pressure society puts on them.
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In fact, this could be your way of telling the world that there’s nothing wrong with being alone, and that you have your own unique path. Maybe this answer will even inspire someone to reconsider their own views on singlehood.
