How To Forgive A Person Who Deeply Hurt You Emotionally.

When someone hurts you in some way, you may believe that you will never be able to get over it. But the inability to forgive does not harm a specific other person, but specifically you. If you want to find inner peace again, you need to go one step further and learn how to forgive.

Forgiveness sounds challenging, doesn’t it? But everyone understands this term differently:

• Some people think they have to forget what happened
• Others hint at the pain, and that they should freeze it.
• Some people automatically restore the broken relationship with the person who hurt them.

In my opinion, forgiveness is a conscious decision to get rid of anger, to process the event that hurt us, not to allow ourselves to have a traumatic approach to the future due to an unpleasant experience and to get rid of the desire for revenge.

So why is forgiveness helpful?

It helps you through the healing process. If you don’t have to forgive, the wounds won’t heal and close either. In this way, you will renew the thought of a certain event and person, again and again, and you will feel anger and disappointment again and again. Part of life is to learn to forgive, in this way we free ourselves, and the other person gets a lesson to process.

What are the benefits of knowing how to forgive:

• Emotional freedom (Release from negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, sadness, revenge)
• Stress reduction (Holding a grudge or anger causes long-term unnecessary stress, letting go relieves this stress)
• Improvement of mutual relations (In this way we establish healthier and more positive relations)
• Personal growth (The process of forgiveness encourages self-reflection and personal growth)
• Increasing self-esteem (When we forgive, we admit to ourselves that we are only human and that we make mistakes. This way we realize that no one is perfect and we all have the right to make mistakes)
• Health (Some studies have shown that long-term anger and resentment affect blood pressure, heart rate, and the immune system.)
• Moving forward (This way we focus on the future and don’t live in the past. And this way we focus on our goals and happiness)

Why is it hard to forgive?

It is often difficult to forgive, especially the people we love. When we think about certain events, we accumulate more and more anger and frustration. It depends on the individual, some are inherently more resentful and others are not. If you think about it, what do you feel when someone disappoints you? I would say: Pain and hurt, a sense of injustice, fear of pain again. And these are the reasons why forgiveness is such a difficult process.

In addition, sometimes pride and a lack of empathy take over. Many do not have a clear understanding of what forgiveness actually means. False beliefs, such as that forgiveness means approval or forgetting, make healing difficult.

How to forgive effortlessly, tips:

Decide to let go.

Sometimes it may take time and emotional processing, but when you get to that point. You will be doing yourself the greatest favor this way. Certainly, any change is based on the first decision. And then a willingness to work on that healing process.

Don’t have high expectations, take your time to heal.

Do not set unrealistic goals. Allow yourself time to process the past and enter the future fully healed and fresh. If you are reading this article right now after a big accident or argument, it is understandable that you are raging with anger, which is now at its peak. Trust yourself and give yourself time, and when you are ready, go into the process of forgiveness.

Shift your focus from blaming to understanding yourself.

Instead of constantly thinking and talking about that person who hurt you. Instead, put that attention on yourself. Observe how anger radiates from you, what you say, what you think, and whether it is healthy for you. Constant blaming will not bring you anything positive. Think about yourself and what you can do.

Describe your feelings

Try to put your feelings into words. Talk to someone you trust or simply use a piece of paper and a pen. Expressing your feelings will lead you to understand yourself more easily. For extra relaxation, relax with meditation or another relaxation method.

Find the light

When someone hurts you, you don’t have to see the bright side of the situation for a while. But eventually, when you build a bigger emotional space, warnings that you didn’t see before begin to open up.

Let’s take an example:

Your best friend betrays you, and after a while, you will see it from a different perspective. Like, knowing what kind of people you don’t want in your life. Or to the realization that it’s better to find out now than never.

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Take responsibility for your actions

Sometimes we humans unintentionally provoke a certain reaction from another person, so it makes sense to dig deeper into our actions. Be honest with yourself.

You don’t wish harm on another

Thoughts have a lot of power, so be careful what you wish for another person because it can boomerang back to you. But you definitely don’t want that. Although, you may be driven by deep anger. But know that with negative energy and sharing negative emotions, you will not do yourself any good. Try to accept the situation with understanding and as little hostility as possible.

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Remember that no one is perfect

We are all just human beings, bloody under the skin and completely imperfect. Because we are all learning, we also do bad things and make wrong decisions. Surely, you too have been in a situation where you hurt someone, this way you will more easily accept the mistakes of other people. Mistakes and forgiveness are simply related. When someone does harm/mistake to another person, there is always one victim who must forgive, and the other must accept responsibility and learn something.

It is also important to forgive yourself

It’s not just healthy to forgive others who have hurt you. You also need to focus on your past mistakes that you haven’t fully resolved within yourself. As long as you have learned something from your mistakes, you must enter the lane of forgiveness and gentleness with yourself.

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Meditation

Why? With the help of this technique, you can completely relax. But you can also visualize how you forgive the person who hurt you. And in this way, you empty your mind and soul of this negative energy and only strengthen the positive. Meditation will also keep you away from hostile thoughts.

Examine Your Emotional Vulnerabilities

At times, reactions to the actions of others may stem from your emotional vulnerabilities. Reflect on whether your emotional vulnerabilities contributed to your feelings of anger or sadness. Self-reflection can help you understand your reactions.

Don’t Confuse Forgiveness with Forgetting

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what happened. You can learn from the experience without carrying anger or resentment.

Be Patient

Forgiveness is a process that takes time. Don’t expect to forget your feelings overnight. Be patient with yourself and allow time for healing.

As challenging as the process of forgiveness may be, know that it is liberating. This will open the door to inner peace, health, and growth. We are all aware that life is like the sea, sometimes calm and sometimes turbulent. We never know what he will bring us. I wish you all the best until next time. What do you think? Was the article useful to you? Share with others.