How To Gain Control Over The Ego And Achieve Inner Satisfaction
You may disagree with the fact that we all have egos. If we were constantly present, we would immediately notice when our ego takes over the rudder. Otherwise, the ego is the devil on our shoulders, which feeds on negative situations. It plays a major role in fighting and defending our lives, but that’s not all. Before we get into how to take control over the ego, let’s briefly explain something about it.
Where does the ego come from? Are we really born with it?
Some people think that we are born with an ego, but I will disagree here. As children, we were not tied to the identity of who or what we were. We were naughty, we didn’t care what others thought, we expressed our feelings and thoughts carelessly, and we didn’t have a mask created yet. Over the years, we have begun to develop abstract thinking and the ability to think outside of our own perspective.
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We were surrounded by different people, whom we started to observe after we were 6 years old. It is the ego that keeps you in constant thinking and prevents you from enjoying and surrendering to the present moment. The ego pulls the real reality out of us, it simply overshadows our true “Identity”.
Simply put, ego is the exact opposite of happiness. To explain more simply, the ego plays a role: When a person is angry, resentful, jealous, comparing with others, picking, fearful, neglecting oneself, the person must always be right, ignoring information from other mouths, angry at defeat, everything revolves around that person, etc. The ego destroys absolutely everything if it is not controlled. It destroys progress and success in our lives as well as relationships.
The ego has created two opposing concepts in our minds: Beautiful/Ugly, Good/Bad, Left/Right, Love/Hate, War/Peace, Wrong/Right, etc. Even as we grew up, we fell into the web of ego when we developed social intelligence. From here comes the need to feel worthy and accepted in society.
That is why many are looking for themselves, exploring their potential, and who they really are, because on the way through life, they were overshadowed by the ego and the created mask. If we had remained realistic since childhood, we would not have bothered with what those around us saw and thought. Everyone would find their purpose on this planet.
When the ego is lost, the boundary is lost. You become endless, kind and beautiful.
– Jogi BHAJAN
How To Gain Control Over The Ego
Practice self-awareness
I think this is the most important point. Practice being present in the present moment. Regardless of what you do, be focused on the current situation, do not wander in your mind. Whenever someone addresses you or says something to you, be present so that you don’t react with your ego. Listen to your thoughts, and what is going through your mind. It may sound like a simple exercise, but it requires a lot of effort.
The research showed that people spend 46.9% of their time thinking about other things and not about the ones we are doing. So we must not get stuck in our heads.
Listen to others
Here again, you can use the first exercise, being present and actually listening to others. Even if you think it’s something completely insignificant. Try to generate some useful thoughts and information for yourself. Of course, if the conversation is about such topics.
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Encourage and praise others
Let’s face it, we all like to hear compliments or praise. So why not share them further? Say something nice to any person, brighten someone’s day.
Empathy
Developing empathy is the exact opposite of ego. The ego sees only what you need, while empathy sees the beings around you. Put yourself in other people’s shoes, empathize, try to understand other points of view, and do not judge them in any way so as not to awaken your ego.
Practice gratitude
Instead of “grumbling” in your mind about what you don’t have or other negative thoughts. Rather focus your thoughts on what you have and what you can be grateful for in your life. Gratitude creates good positive feelings. To make it easier for you, start writing every day at least 3-5 things you are grateful for, this is a great exercise for your mind and your well-being.
Make room for a new mindset
The ego will be convinced that it knows everything. Regardless of a person’s age, let’s be realistic that no one knows absolutely everything. Allow your mindset room for new information and beliefs. If you see yourself changing your mindset, congratulations, it means you are growing. Go to the library and borrow a completely new book topic, or try something new that you’ve never tried before.
Control your pride
Pride can quickly lead to unpredictable reactions. And here we are again at the beginning, too presence helps you. Think about what you say, how you behave, and what goes through your mind.
Get out of your mind
Practice and disconnect from the mind, don’t let the thoughts take over you, and you just keep the pressure and dark clouds above you. Try positive thoughts, listen to the affirmations you find on YT, and talk to yourself in a positive essence. Go to nature to relax and disconnect from the material and constant information from all sides. Find yourself again.
Be aware of your mistakes
And acknowledge them too. Never let pride take over, don’t deny something if you know you might be wrong or that this is your weak point. Observe yourself, what is sitting on your soul, what is destroying you, or what is not serving you well. And don’t be ashamed of it, especially not because of what others will say and think. Drop the mask, we all make mistakes, and we learn from mistakes. If we don’t turn a mistake into a lesson, we will certainly continue to do so. The day will come when we will take this mistake closer to us and try to change it.
See your ego as another person
It’s not really you, it’s just a little devil whispering in your ear trying to control you. To find your true self, you will need to find inner peace and step away from it. Control yourself, don’t compare yourself to others, don’t judge and pick on others, be kind, want good for everyone around you, love yourself, don’t show a different version of yourself if you’re not who you are, don’t say what you don’t mean and the like.
Find yourself, what inspires you, find answers within yourself why you do similar or certain things listed above, what left you with fears and traumas…
Remember one thing, you will never erase the ego. You can learn how to deal with it. Follow other people around you less, follow yourself instead and wipe away the cobwebs, and reveal the power you carry. Don’t rely on others, express yourself even if most will say a different answer. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and express your thoughts. Focus on yourself and make a good/positive mark on this world. All the best until next time.
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A man asked Lord Buddha: ”I want happiness”. Lord Buddha said: first remove ”I” that’s ego. Then remove ”Want” that’s desire. See now you are left with only ”Happiness”
