How To Overcome Fear Of Rejection: A Guide For Everyone

The occasional fear of rejection is completely natural, but if an individual is obstacle by this fear in all areas of life, it is not just an innocent matter. The causes of the resulting trauma usually go back to early childhood. The child is characterized by a lack of attention from caregivers, a constant feeling of abandonment, inferiority, and lack of love and support.

The consequences of fear of rejection in adults are characterized as:

• Low self-esteem
• Lack of trust
• Neglecting one’s own needs to please others
• Exaggerates self-criticism
• Spending a lot of time and energy worrying about: What others think
• Excessive helpfulness
• The individual does not follow his wishes and dreams
• Greater exposure to depression and anxiety
• Unhealthy relationships and comparison with others
• Addiction – drowning your feelings
• Problems with intimacy
• Problems with sharing one’s own opinion, due to fear of what others think
• Fear of being different, the individual likes to blend in with the surroundings
• The individual does not know how to say NO
• Fear of abandonment
• The individual speaks and does things only to be accepted by the environment

Thus, individuals, due to the fear of rejection, cannot find a fulfilling relationship in which they would feel safe and comfortable, they insist on a career that causes them unpleasant feelings and negatively affects their lives. So they face the fear of change because they are not afraid of new rejection at every step.

We all know that if we want to change, sometimes we simply have to take a risk and try the unknown. Only in this way can we achieve better results in our lives and better well-being.

Look at these examples, what do they have in common?

➟ The student is afraid of public speaking.

➟ A guy worries about how to approach a girl because he’s never been in a serious relationship before.

➟ A married man wants a better sex life with his wife, but he does not know how to approach his wife so that she does not misunderstand.

➟ A young ambitious woman, she is quiet most of the time in work meetings and does not share her good ideas. He prefers to accept and agree with the ideas of others.

➟ The teenager is worried about how he will do at the theater audition.

➟ The mother does not know how to mention to the mother-in-law that her child eats too many sweets at her place. She is worried about the future of the relationship.

If we look at what is common in all these cases, we see that everything revolves around the fear of the reaction of others. They are afraid of what others would think, that is, they are afraid of rejection from their surroundings. And so such general cases affect the quality of an individual’s life. Perhaps this mother will never mention the thing that bothers her but will accept such a situation, even if she will not be satisfied. A guy won’t ask a girl out because he’s afraid things won’t go well.

In this way, people do not follow their dreams and desires. They do not express their own opinions and beliefs. Thus, people are trapped in relationships that exhaust them. If you have found your place in this article so far, it is important to break this vicious cycle horn. Start building on self-confidence and realizing your own worth, which is more important than others.

If you are experiencing fear of rejection, do not run away, but know that you are not alone in this battle. Overcoming this trauma will seem challenging at first, but believe me it is worth it. I have prepared some tips and exercises that I hope will be useful to you.

Free yourself from the fear of rejection

Don’t define yourself by trauma

The fact that you have been rejected in certain situations in the past definitely does not mean that you are inferior. Realize that we all experience rejection in different areas. Start accepting rejections and change your mindset.

Instead of despising yourself and considering yourself inferior. Rather, change your mindset and belief that every rejection brings new opportunities and lessons. The feeling of rejection is definitely terrible, and your first thoughts will turn to the question: What is wrong with me? Or similar, but try being aware and changing your mindset.

Explore the root of the trauma

Test with questions, what is it that built this fear in you? Is this a family relationship? Have you always felt out of place among your peers because maybe you were “different” from others? I don’t like to use that phrase because it makes me kind of uncomfortable too. I myself suffered constant exclusion from society and a feeling of inferiority due to my physical difference because I was not like most of my peers. (I stood out because of my height) The origin itself will help you on the way to healing and you will leave the trauma behind faster because you will know what you can work on.

Take small steps

I mentioned above many consequences in adulthood, due to the fear of rejection. Now write down the points on paper or in a journal. And try to work on every point that marks you. Eg: You don’t know how to say NO when you feel this way. The next time you’re in a situation where you really don’t want something, take it a step further and just say no. Sounds simple right? But it might not be like that.

But after each successful step, you will feel free and closer to yourself. In this way, you will build on self-confidence and obedience to your feelings. You will no longer care so much what others think and think, but what you will feel! And that’s what I want to take you to.

What others think

Although you may feel that everyone around you is constantly staring and talking about you in their thoughts. It’s not quite like that, you created this fear in your head. That’s why now wherever you appear you feel threatened. Don’t be afraid of what others think of you, be afraid of what you think of yourself.

How To Simply Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Does it even matter what others think of you? No, definitely not! It is important how you feel in your own skin and in your mind. Changing this mentality will take time, and I myself had a hard time accepting this point.

Accept the feelings

Don’t run away from your emotions right now, but simply accept them. Absolutely everyone faces the fear of rejection, but the important thing is this: Will you run away or will you push yourself forward?

If you run away, you will never know how a situation could turn out, but if you step up and gather courage, you will experience new situations and lessons in life. Therefore, accept the fear, use affirmations, and try a new move. If you deny the fear, it will have an even greater effect on you. Just breathe deeply if you have the chance to write down your feelings and observe yourself. Breathing always helps at this point.

Talk to yourself in your mind, be your own best friend. How would you advise a friend if he was afraid? Well, use this technique on yourself! Build a friendship and a strong bond with yourself, be gentle.

Rejection directs you to your dreams

Many successful people shared their stories of how many rejections and failures they had to endure to get to the high points they are now. Here, too, your belief is important. If you are rejected at a job interview: you can perceive the event as something bad, you are self-critical of yourself, you worry about what is wrong with you, etc.

Do you accept the situation and are motivated to continue your journey and is there something completely better than what could be waiting for you there. Therefore, I would like to warn you at this point that if you were not accepted at the previous job interview, the job was definitely not right for you. Change your belief and try to take rejections and turn them into something useful and good.

Physical signs

If we think carefully, whenever we are afraid of something, we also feel it on a physical level. Our hands start to sweat, we breathe shallowly, we feel pressure all over our body, we are restless, our skin becomes pale, some even feel sick, and the like. There are exercises that help you calm down and relax. One of the most important techniques is certainly breathing, breathing is the easiest way to calm the body.

So try conscious breathing, close your eyes, and listen and watch your inhales and exhales. The tension will slowly ease. Give yourself some positive affirmations and words of encouragement. Predict a positive outcome for yourself, and help yourself with the help of visualization.

Try to focus on the present moment, do not prepare your thoughts in advance for the final outcome. Are you afraid of presenting in front of the whole classroom? Don’t think about what will happen, imagine how you did the presentation perfectly, relax your muscles and body, and breathe deeply.

How To Forgive A Person Who Deeply Hurt You Emotionally.

Prioritize building self-esteem and self-confidence

When you perceive self-criticism and self-neglect. Just stop, start building a new mindset, and start putting yourself first in your life. Pay attention to how you feel, your feelings, and your opinion. I mentioned above the case of a young woman who never expresses her ideas in work meetings.

In the past, I myself understood that no opinion or belief is completely 1000% correct. Everyone develops opinions and beliefs based on everyday experiences, so any opinion is acceptable. Don’t be afraid to express your voice, opinion, or idea. Trust yourself and don’t be afraid of other people’s reactions, because it’s just your opinion. You might open someone’s eyes or even help someone.

That’s why it’s important to build self-confidence and cultivate self-love. Self-acceptance is also important here.

There will always be people who judge

Avoiding judgmental people is inevitable. Therefore, wasting your valuable time and energy on what others think and judge is completely wasteful. Even if you try to be absolutely perfect in all areas of your life, there will surely be a judge who will judge your actions or decisions.

Better dedicate this energy and time to yourself, your dreams, and your desires. Many times I found myself in situations where those close to me did not encourage me on certain paths, but I am proud and happy with myself that I always listened to myself and my wishes. One such example is this very blog of mine. (In which I pour my soul and enjoy it immensely.)

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Build healthy relationships

One of my important lessons, let go of people in your life who drain you or make you feel bad around them. Never stay in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone or because you are haunted by the fear of not meeting new people. You will stay in the relationships you focus on.

Listen to yourself and get out of your comfort zone. Take a step forward and you will see that new opportunities, people and the like await you around the corner. Do not persist in toxic relationships because of various fears, if you feel that the relationship is not your safe haven, take action. I assure you that life has many gifts for you, you just have to dare to step forward on the path of life. Don’t get stuck at a point, because of fear and trauma.

This is how our meeting ends, I hope that my advice will be useful to you in your journey of overcoming the fear of rejection. My main advice is to change your mindset and beliefs. Because it all starts in your mind. I will be happy to hear your opinion or story. All the best until next time.

How has the fear of rejection manifested itself in your life?